Time Flies and Gravity Wells, a Whimsical Interpretation

How time flies! It does not? Then you must be very young. Everyone knows, the older you get, the faster the world seems to move by. There is also some discrepancy regarding the speed of time while we are having fun, and let us not forget the eternity that passes between your car hitting that puddle and the moment you realise you actually missed the oncoming truck. Time sure is an odd, disturbing thing. We could figure it out, I’m sure, given enough of it. For now, we seem limited to working theories such as Fractional Time Awareness, which explains why time runs faster as we get older:

Fractional Time Awareness explains why there is such a long time between the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause, but so few moments between the birth of your own child and the day s/he graduates. For a child one year old, another year is another whole lifetime. Think of the life packed into a lifetime! At age six, there is almost ten percent of an entire lifetime between the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause, whereas for a ten-year-old that ten percent brings a whole new birthday. At twelve, your birthdays are but a month’s worth of life apart, compared to that baby. At fifty-two, a year is just another week in the life… Thank goodness we do not live until 365, every morning you open your eyes, another tax form to submit!

This awareness of the passage of time as a fraction of your total life explains , or rather excuses a few things, but it does not seem to explain every time-related phenomenon. It seems humans are oddly shaped for the time domain. Our mathematics, for example, does not understand why we think time runs in one particular direction. Our best minds were discussing the role of entropy, or so they said last time someone brought them coffee. Of course,  there are other expert opinions on the nature of time:

“For us, a thousand of your years are but a day, and a day for us, a thousand years for you humans on earth.” Or something like that. The gods measure their life like we do, but on their planet, time seems a lot kinder. How surprised were they not, to find themselves ageing alarmingly fast when they came to live on earth! It drove them to abandon us, apparently, though they allude to being able to reverse the aging process over there, with some medication or ‘elixir’. The important bit here is that time seems to behave differently on different planets, like it apparently did on Earth, way back when dinosaurs roamed, back when earth’s gravity allowed dinosaurs to live. Gravity is a strange thing.

None of those gigantic dinosaurs of old would be able to stand up under its own weight today. An elephant already tests the boundaries of size, needing special footpad pumps to get the blood back up to the heart. Would a lower gravity allow for Methuselah’s admirably long life? But why would gravity have anything to do with time? I dunno, go ask Einstein!

Einstein told us a few things about gravity and time, like the one where moving very fast makes time slow down. But only if you move;  whenever humans were allowed to visit the gods, they always returned seemingly unaged, compared to everyone they left behind. The usual explanation is the time dilation of travelling to Nibiru, but since Nibiru only visits during nadir, 400 million miles at 10 percent the speed of light cannot justify much time lost this way. Besides, travelling to earth did not slow the Nibiruan age down, they aged very quickly, compared to their planetary compatriots! So, if you travel from earth, time is slow, when you come to earth, time is fast, which must certainly be nonsense. Whether you lose time or you don’t, time cannot be species dependent. Time flies and time crawls, but time waits for no man. Either time is a universal constant, or it is a figment of imagination, or at least a construct of conscious awareness. Or time is not a quantum entity, not something objectively measurable?

Maybe, as time progresses, our minds operate differently? Unlikely. Yet we have this thing with time flowing faster as we age. Admittedly this is subjective, which could mean that time does not actually speed up, we just slow down in our perception, making the world blur past faster and faster. This slowing down of our perception is unlikely to be a function of our physical brain, which changes very little between puberty and death, barring damage and disease. Is there something else that could make us slow down, so the other people (back on earth) seem to be living faster?

According to Einstein’s maths, there is no difference between acceleration, and gravity. That means, as you are standing on the surface of earth, you are constantly being accelerated at almost ten meters per second, per second. In other words, every second you go ten meters further than you went the previous second, second after second, every second of your life. How fast are you going right now, while sitting still in front of this screen?  How long have you been around? There are thirty-one and a half million seconds in a year, and you accelerate the whole time, how fast are you going by now? Presuming you were born in a state of rest, by the time you are one year old, you are already moving through time at a speed of around 300 thousand kilometres per second. Per second! That’s around the speed of light! Is that why your eyes take a year to ‘open’?

By the time you are forty, you move through time at intergalactic warp speed, and your soul slows down to a snail’s pace. For you as an independent observer, the world is rushing past at a potential fifty times the speed of light, no wonder the days are so short! Of course, these velocities are purely theoretical, the maths good only for souls in a vacuum. The real soul experiences drag, there is friction and heat and vibration that robs you of speed. Discord, passion and joy are some of the things that tend to disrupt the ‘normal’ experience of time.” Time sure flies when you’re having fun” and all that.

Of course, by ‘soul’ we mean the consciousness that experiences time, not some ethereal concept of guilt and retribution building up to reward and punishment.