CATS ARE SO AMAZING AND YET SO MYSTERIOUS, THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY FROM ANOTHER PLANET. ALSO, THEIR PURRING HEALS.
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT BEING IGNORED
Rudyard Kipling wrote a story about the cat that is free. It is a myth worthy of that great writer.
For our opinion on cats, please contact our owners. I do believe we are not allowed an actual opinion on cats other than what we think they should get for dinner, and breakfast, and snacks, and between snacks.
The occasional tooth-and-nail brawl and a leg over after the fight, now that's a cat's life. Do not ever think you own a cat. Life does not work like that, but if you really do well, and the cat thinks you are worthy, it will come when you call it. True, it only comes in the hopes of seeing food, but it comes. Many people think cats do not respond to their name, but actually they are morally quite advanced creatures. If they ignore you, it is because they are busy with higher things, and a mere mortal like you can wait until you are acknowledged. Cat language is a very personal thing, and the more we learn, the more proof we find that cats might be interplanetary visitors, stuck here after a dog they were buzzing bit their spacecraft thinking it a frisbee. Dogs were bigger in those days.
Cats are not really trainable. What you do with a cat is to raise it according to strict and steady rules. Cats do not respond well to violence, and they can rip holes in you that may leave you surprisingly bloody and long in healing. A happy, fulfilled cat, on the other hand, has amazing cognition, and knows exactly what you expect of it, and how far it can push you before you catch on. Mistake you not, a cat will manipulate you the way your mom did, only you don't expect that from a dumb animal. Every master of propaganda will tell you that controlling your subjects depend very much on them not realising they are being herded along. Cats are master manipulators, and the term "as impossible as herding cats" actually has political undertones, a rebellious quip at the cost of our divine masters, CATS. They don't mind the insults, a billion ripped curtains, two billion tattered couches, three billion ripped and bleeding hands all prove that cats don't mind violence, and you will pay for every misstep against felines.
There has been suggestions that a cat's whiskers operate like dowsing rods. This is why they can detect a mouse other side of a wall, or in a hole. I am not aware of any further research into the matter, but that is hardly surprising. Before your mind can even contemplate designing such research, you have to bend your beliefs around two obstacles: Intelligent, concious and metaphysically aware animals, and the existence of a folklorish superpower of finding things by pointing a stick in random directions. Somehow, i don't think the chappies at Cambridge will take time off their pederast party schedule to research such obvious nonsense.
Until that situation changes, please read the article on cat behaviour, it mentions six different but distinct and recognisable ways your cat ignores you.
The last issue is that of cat collars. At Greenpets, we understand that some people actualy tolerate collared pets better, because they obviously have owners. Like humans, cats are also victim to classism and disrespect by those who consider themselves priviledged-by-right. An aristocat with pretty collar gets a treat and a rub, poor streetcat gets the boot and boiling water. In neighbourhoods like that, it is best to clearly collar your cat, but beware: Thousands of cats get throttled by collars caught up in obstructions the cat was jumping over, in essence hanging the cat by the neck until dehydration and exposure kills it. If you are going to collar your cat, make sure the cat's weight is enough to break that collar loose, okay? Cat biltong tatses like cruelty. Maybe that is what jerky is made of.
Breeding cats. Why would you want to do that?
No, seriously, there are enough cats to go around. Unless you show some special breed, then don't breed. Rescue some poor sodden kitten somewhere close to you. People drown kittens just to save on the food, they will surely give you one. Buying a cat from a pet store only perpetuates the habit of some people to breed anything they can sell off before it starts eating solids. You end up with
Cats are mamals. Lift the tail and look for cahoonies. If it has none, it is either female or neutered. Looking for the penis is easy enough if the cat allows you to flip it over. Unless it is your very own cat, good luck with that! See you in Emergency room. Males also have nipples, just like every other mammal, so those are of no use when determining the gender of a mammal. Uhm, yah, most mamals actually don't have swollen mammaries unless they are breastfeeding little ones, so don't go there. Very young cats can be confusing, and a tomcat's penis can hide quite well. A bit of pressure just in front of the anus will expose any sign of male genitalia in kittens.
How cats communicate
They don't. They issue orders, and take vengeance upon those who disobey. Vengeance may be limited to severe turning of the back. When a cat turns his back on you, you know it, it actually hurts. That might be the cat's most awesome weapon; ignoring the heck out of you. They also scratch.
This article has been written three times already, and it keeps disappearing. It matters little, it was mainly about how cats know sixty ways of ignoring you, let it be for now...
All your cat needs is love and fresh protein. Cats are not too dependent on love. Protein, on the other hand....
Cats are carnivores, and that means they eat very little that is not meat. Like all pets, they may learn to snack on rubbish, but unless you give it free reign, the cat can handle e few titbits. Your cat can also handle commercial dry pellet kibble gunk flavoured with real protein. It will die young and in pain from failed kidneys, but hey, you gave it lots of love with every bowl of industrial waste, yes? A cat's diet must be so rich in protein, his poop should be irresistible to dogs. I am not talking coprophagia here. Dogs who eat each others' or their own poop, are lacking nutrition. Cats eating poop are bloody well starving. A dog eating a cat's poop is good exploitation of available resources. Consider that the cat's meal was pure raw meat. His digestive tract extracted maximum 60% of the nutrition. That means, for every 100 grams the cat ate, the dog gets 40 grams of pure meat for free. This is called utilising your resources.
What you mean the maths is wrong? Cats don't eat pure meat? Your cat did not get raw meat for breakfast? Why not? Are you busy poisoning your cat to the point where it needs its teeth brushed? Cats are carnivores, by definition they eat meat, whatever argument you want to put forth regarding balanced diets scientifically formulated or not, cats eat raw fresh meat and then they go to sleep for most of the day. Like cats should do. Actually, cats do have one source of vegetables; the innards of the small animals they catch and eat whole. This is why you should supplement the raw meat with occasional rats, mice, chicks or just a packet of nice, fresh, clean, fresh, odourless, fresh, unfrozen, fresh, clean and fresh chicken intestines, sold as CHICKEN MALA at your local non-bourgeois corner shop. Make sure it is fresh. Some catnip also comes in a treat.
Cats don't inhabit places, they are free to go where they please as they please.
Cats are territorial, the females holding the territory, and males wandering the landscape looking for a female willing to let him into her boudoir. Fighting viciously with every male you meet along the way seems to be the in-flight entertainment. The only two things more entertaining to a cat than cruisin' and bruisin' would be sleeping somewhere warm after you ate something squeeky and warm. Of course, a cat on the way for a nap has no time to quible,
