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Do not ever call yourself a conspiracy theorist, do not allow others to call you a conspiracy theorist, and above all get this conspiracy thing out of your head. There is no conspiracy. A farmer does not conspire against his cattle; he breeds them, he feeds them, then he eats'em. Besides, any person that believes others are conspiring against him or her, is called a paranoiac. Paranoia is a symptom of a greater mental disorder, psychosis. This makes you a certifiable potential mass criminal. At the very least you need to be de-radicalised, possibly with a healthy dose of incarceration. The good news is, psychosis can be treated. The bad news is, people don't want to take their little pills, so now there are vast organisations fighting for our right to enforced medication.

Those who feel they really, really do not need medication, have the disadvantage of wild animals everywhere; a shrinking habitat, threatened by unnecessary and wasteful urban spread, poisoned by factory farming and logging, with the last remaining spaces enclosed and patrolled by armed soldiers, the royal deer forests of the World Wildlife Fund. Besides, city water contains all the relaxing fluoride we need.

On the other side, the only weapon we have left against the strange entities pretending to be our leaders, is dialogue. We have to share information, not ideas, sharing ideas almost always implies one person ‘educating’ another, even taking turns at it. The problem is, education is indistinguishable from indoctrination, which is, of course, telling another person what and how to think. Information, on the other hand, is agnostic, independent of any rules or regulations; a thing that is, ís. Of course, information has to be assimilated, taken in somehow, before it can be processed and thus become part of reality, as it were. Information has to be gathered, and gathering data needs tools and instruments. Handing someone a new instrument to analyse his world, is not the same as telling him how to think.

The instrument we offer here, is a simple, short document first translated into English around the year 1901, by a Russian guy called Nillius. There is legend of older copies surfacing shortly before the French Revolution, mentioned in the document as a first successful demonstration of the business principles behind democracy. This little booklet has been widely quoted, criticized, banned, persecuted… there are rumours that, in 1930’s Soviet Union, possession could get you shot where you stand. It is also widely decried as an anti-semitic fraud, but by no stretch of imagination does it contain any fraudulent claims, and the Jews are mentioned sympathetically as agents involuntary.

This is what we have for your brain to chew on: a centuries old document describing in detail the political agenda of the world, specifically Europe, Israel and Russia. The rest of us also get a mention as ‘future projects’, but any reader today will recognise the continued international success of this philosophy. The charge of anti-semitism may originate in the descriptions of Israel decades before it was first ‘suggested’ in British Parliament, which kind of ridicules the official story/history. The veracity of this document can easily be verified by reading newspapers, watching the news, or taking stock of your personal bank account versus the cost of real food. This document can be verified by surfing the net and look at the various differing opinions regarding the safety and dangers of vaccination, the beautiful promises made by our leaders, versus the suffering and death by the same vaccines. There is a chorus of propaganda and dissent just on vaccines, but from this document’s point of view, all sides are saying the same truth. This little document will teach you the language of your oppressor, it will teach you the real meaning of politicians’ speeches. After you have read this document, we dare you to ever ‘consume’ the news again, for understanding is but a point of view, and the point of view in question is this: Our entire political system is designed as a business plan, and it is run like a business plan, and the name of the game is: One man must own everything. Every thing.

The famous translation from Russian is in halting 19th century academic pidgin English. To add to Nillius’ woes, he tries to get across concepts like mass media and behavioural psychology. In a time when the concepts existed as ideas only, with no such vocabulary in his own language, he tries to describe it in an obviously unfamiliar language. This makes it somewhat difficult for casual readers to scan, and also the document professes to be a collection of meeting summaries, what we would call meeting minutes, over many days. The result is somewhat incoherent, repetitive and of no artistic value, like any corporate record. While the original document may still be found all over the Net, almost always with a derogatory preface to denounce the anti-semitism, we decided to retranslate it, re-interpret it as one coherent train of thought, using modern terms and histories. Because of the absolute brilliance of this document, we will add one suggestion that seems to escape our contemporaries:

Instead of ‘exposing this evil plan to rule the world’, and screaming for the blood of the perpetrators, why don’t we hijack this beautiful protocol for our own needs? The human race can soar by studying this text, acknowledge the veracity and success of the Protocols, then use the same techniques to the benefit of man, instead of our extinction and enslavement. Or, we can avoid all mention of a document that describes in detail the progression of our collective suffering on the road to racial extinction and the enslavement of whatever is left of our species, because, hell, The Protocols is a fraudulent document of anti-semitic …er…what is so anti-semitic about wanting to survive again?