AN ATTEMPT TO STEM THE TIDE OF GENOCIDE DISGUISED AS FOOD AND MEDICINE
Welcome to the Greenpets Natural Living pages
Number Portability is a Scam
- Category: GREENPETS NATURAL HAPPINESS
So you dial your buddy. As you get connected, your phone says: “Bleep-bleep-bleep. Purr-purr, purr-purr…” and so on until someone picks up. Now we all know what the purr-purr means, it is the guy’s phone ringing on the other side, but what about those three short beeps at the beginning? It is the sound of you being scammed by your cheap friend who thought he saves money by changing contracts, and can you believe it, he took his WoodenCom number over to MightyNet! Isn’t those guys just too kind and accommodating! If you believe that, you probably believe the polar bears are dying of hunger because the penguins fell off the melting icebergs and drowned.
The Science behind the Holy Communion
- Category: GREENPETS NATURAL HAPPINESS
There are those, usually the atheist-science type, that likes to make fun of sacred stuff. A favourite object of their ridicule, is the so-called barbaric cannibalism of the holy communion. Of course, as is the wont of scientists in possession of eternal Truth, mocking other peoples’ truths is a blatant display of ignorance. On the other hand, they also supply us with entertaining nonsense like dark matter, dark energy and Artificial Intelligence, capital letters, please. But they are just stupid little atheist devils with no scientific understanding. Let's educate them a bit in the wonders of creation, why don't we?
As is usual on this site, we draw you in with a promise of Good News, and end up preaching backwoods science. In particular, we are going to talk some basic genetics. What we need to understand is the link between love, instinct and a coherent society. That link is called ‘Mitochondria’. That is Greek or sumpfink for ‘tiny needles’. Not to get complicated, imagine tiny little bugs living inside each of the gazillions of cells that make up your body. They are very small, and they have only RNA, instead of DNA. That is a single strand of genetic material instead of a double strand.
While every cell in your body (should) carry the exact same DNA, the RNA changes as the needs and duties of that particular cell changes. Whatever the kind of cell you have in your body, they all need mitochondria to operate, but each type works slightly differently, because the mitochondria in there express the genetic code differently. The ones in your heart cells can produce well over 600 different proteins!
Call them worms, they are sort of needle-shaped, most of them. These bugs are really, really primitive, somewhere around the level of amoebae. These things can do only two things: Eat, and poop. When you eat, it is to feed these little wormies, and in turn, these wormies poop out the proteins and enzymes and stuff that makes that thing you call a body, work. But there’s a trick to that poop!
These mitochondria hang out real close to the core of the living cell, close enough for an electro-chemical information exchange. We do not understand precisely how yet, but the mitochondria can “read” the genetic sequence of the amino acid chain, bit by bit, so to speak. This sequencing causes the worm’s poop-string to bend, in predetermined and demonstrable ways, so that the resulting polypeptide has the general shape of a long string scrunched up in a little wad. The particular shape and sequence of that pooped-out polypeptide will determine the exact nature of that particular building block of life. Will it make muscle? Metabolise sugar? Become snot to catch poisonous fungi spores before they grow in my lungs? Just migrate to the next generation of cells, to metabolise for a new, just-differentiated stem cell?
The DNA sequence will code for the correct stuff when the correct worm ’tastes’ it. You have a ‘genetic condition’ or congenital disease when you either do not have the correct worms in your cells, or because, rarely, the sequencing of your DNA gives the worms nonsense to read. The latest in medical advancements is where they inject you with bacteria that will do the metabolic job your own mitochondria does not code for. It is an almost instant cure for many, many diseases, but because it threatens the well-being of the health care industry, the treatment is by appointment only, hundred thousand dollars a shot. Literally, a hundred grand for one single shot. Virtually instant health, at a hundred big ones per injection. The marvel of sciencery. But back to the story:
There exists a small wasp that preys on spiders by laying an egg on the hairs of the spider’s back. The larva will eat into the spider slowly, with gory but nutritious results. The egg, however, is extremely small, too small, in fact, to contain mitochondria. If you hatch the egg in a laboratory, the wasp is perfect in every single way, except one: The wasp will not hunt spiders. It knows nothing of spiders, it does not care about them. Should you, however, add to the egg the original microscopic turd the mother left on the egg, all the mitochondria are present, and the baby will hunt the correct type of spider with no coaching needed. All your instincts were inherited from your mom, at best your dad can teach you manners.
This is why a mother knows when her child is in trouble; she implanted in her child a complete set of cellular transceivers. This is why friends finish each others’ sentences, they break bread and touch hands and breathe each other’s shed skin cells. This is why lovers yearn, they exchange mitochondria through the most sensitive moist membranes with direct pleasurable rewards. It is the mitochondria we infect each other with, communicating over time and space!
Much is being said these days about the disastrous results we got from the obsession to “eradicate all known germs” with ever-more colourful chemical concoctions. Some people are even suggesting we allow our children to play in the mud! Remember how Adam was made with mud? Clay, even better, (asterix footnote citation). Point is, the soil is the greatest source of bacteria in our lives. Bacteria are just like every other species: eat or get eaten, and the fittest inherit the land.
By ingesting the soil, you inherit mitochondria living in the soil bacteria. You are now equipped to fight off just about any bacteria emanating from that land, because you have eaten and metabolised and inherited the power of the strongest bacteria, the ones dominating the land. This is how the child is tied to his motherland, because he carries with him, forever, the metabolic signature of that land. Provided you allowed him to eat the soil. Soil. Not poison-sprayed, fertiliser-drenched lawn substrate, but clean, pure soil. The lesson here is that mitochondria are extremely important, and you can add to your bacterial population.
You can also subtract from your mitochondrial population, or cripple them, kill them: Get addicted to any of a variety of pharmaceutical drugs. Eat copious amounts of MSG, artificial sweeteners or preservatives like nitrate salts. Hang around cell phone towers, engine exhausts or fracking wells. You can develop all sorts of syndromes just by living near a guy that sprays Roundup. Why not confuse your mitochondria into producing dead or pathogenic peptides by eating trans-fats, GMOs or tiny little microscopic pieces of plastic that have become as prevalent as bacteria. Or just sniff some of that ‘air freshener’ from the beautiful tin that promises “Spring Pine Forest” or somesuch, that stuff really gets into the cells, wrestle those darn internal parasites to a standstill, why not? Or just ask your doctor if he wants to earn commission on a prescription for some antibiotics.
But we are not here to discuss all the many and wonderfully expensive ways you can poison your own metabolism, we are gather together here today, dear friends, to share in the Holy Communion, the body and blood of the sacrament. Remember that little wasp, and the little pile of poop on her egg? The baby eating the soil? The lovers kissing? How do you make lovers of an entire church full of people, a town, a country? This is the secret of the Holy Communal Meal:
First, the priest breaks the bread, and he offers each supplicant one small bite-sized piece, delivered by hand. By all of us eating the bread that the priest touched, we all share in the RNA of the priest, he who must lead the flock. We are already closer to each other because in our flesh the microbes of the priest yearn for communion with similar microbes in every member of the congregation. Then comes the flagon of wine, each taking but a small sip, just touching the communal cup, and so we share each other with each other. The blood is much stronger than the flesh alone, together they form the rock upon which the church is built. With the flesh (bread) we build a congregation, with the blood (wine) we build a community.
On larger scale, we have the county fair type thing, annual or seasonal congregations from a wide geographic area, usually limited by the Land and the mitochondrial soul of that land. Is there any part of the fair more important than the fare? We eat and drink until we are sick and throw up on the roundabout. Every second stall has something sweeter, greasier, meatier than all the others combined, and we try a lot of them, every exotic dish from some strange outpost of our little realm, bringing my heart and yours closer over all those miles. Because your mitochondria got into all the food you touched and then fed me.
This is why a mother knows when her child is in trouble; she implanted in her child a complete set of cellular transceivers. This is why friends finish each others’ sentences, they break bread and touch hands and breathe each other’s shed skin cells. This is why lovers yearn, they exchange mitochondria through the most sensitive moist membranes with direct pleasure rewards.
This is why the effort to isolate us from our congregation by using scary virus stories and armed policemen does not only threaten our common freedoms, our freedom to associate, gather and work, it threatens the very fabric of our society by refusing us the coherency benefits of holy communion. Whether that be a church service, bar or wedding, where people get together, they grow together. By keeping us apart, you are breaking us apart.
It is a global pandemic, they say. We must all stand together, they say.
Its a globalist pandemic, I say. Globalists hate all forms of civic unity.
Patriotism is barbaric they say. Social distancing, self isolation, hide and die alone, they say.
The end of patriotism came, not with the bang of war, but with the whimper of a ventilator. And on the far horizon appears our saviour, Bill Gates, mandatory vaccinations raised high against the rising sun…
Postponing Menopause, what a Marvel!
- Category: GREENPETS NATURAL HAPPINESS
Nary has a month gone by lately, or the medical fraternity has not come up with a new, more wondrous “medical breakthrough” than the last. August 2019 saw the public exposure of an evil attempt at playing God, when it was revealed that some lab is growing human-monkey chimeras as a possible source of human organs for the transplant trade. Frankly, it is a step forward from legalising the abortion of babies until well after birth, so their organs can be harvested for the trade in human parts. It sure beats those vultures descending upon your carcass while it is still warm and, as documented numerous times, technically alive.
…and this was not even the most “interesting scientific advancement” of the week, no, some gang of broken minds somewhere has been busy for a while now solving, or at least postponing, a dreaded condition that is attacking women all over the globe.
Trickle-Down Economics and the Measles Pandemic
- Parent Category: NATURAL LIVING
- Category: THE BIOME
“You must understand, this system (of wealth aggregation to a few individuals) was not for a month, or a year, it is for ever. Eventually all this money will be competed out, and that’s when it will benefit everyone…(shrugs) …or something like that.” Jaimi Dimon, CEO of JPMorganChase, the “world’s most successful banker”, explaining to Congress the principle of Trickle-Down Economics.
We shall not discuss trickle-down economics here, we have a complete separate category where we make fun of the fables we are forced to live by. The thing is supposed to work like this: The more money the millionaire has, the more he spends, and that is when each of us get our share of his fortune. So, your duty is make sure the millionaire gets as rich as possible, because his wealth will trickle down to you. This has absolutely nothing to do with this article, except this one thing: America is gaining millionaires every day. Not only those who get rich in America, but the rest of the world’s millionaires are flocking to America. According to trickle-down theory, Americans must surely be the most prosperous people on earth, getting richer every day, no?
Why is Global Warming Making it Snow so much?
- Parent Category: NATURAL LIVING
- Category: THE BIOME
Climate change deniers have a popular meme to ridicule the Global Warming crowd. You know the one: Dude stands knee-deep in snow, and says something like “Global warming my @.s”
The Warmers have only one defence: Ridicule the deniers for “hating science”. Neither of these factions are much represented in the scientific community, as neither of them seem to understand primary school science. This ignorance does not stop some people from declaring open war on any and all who disagree with whatever theory is currently being presented as “science”.
Greenpets on Snopes
- Parent Category: GREENPETS NATURAL HAPPINESS
- Category: NATURAL REARING
Ah, mister Snopes dot com. Obviously a team effort, no man has time to think up that much counterpropaganda. I wonder what came first; a credulous boy called Snopes, who then sold his skill off, or was he created by the people using him. What do we call the people who run Snopes? Establishment? That sounds so clichéd and unsophisticated. These are, after all, serious people who employ serious science to defend the consensus and ridicule the aberrant. By that I mean Snopes deals in Truth, Montessori Truth, and that has to be defended against all attempts at suggesting any alternative truth. At GREENPETS, we really dislike the kind of truth that is voted into existence, and because our ego knows few bounds, we feel free to insult two of our direct competitors in the fields of 'Natural Medicine', whatever that is, and 'News', otherwise known as public bulldusting...
Big Pharma Finds Seat of Consciousness, Cuts it off!
- Category: GREENPETS NATURAL HAPPINESS
There are articles on this site that –very inexpertly- try to convey the idea of holistic existentialism. By this we think we mean to promote a world-view where each of us saves the world by taking responsibility for our own choices, and take cause with anyone trying to limit those choices. Giving me twenty varieties of breakfast cereal does not constitute choice, when all of them are contaminated by the same hormonal disruptor, made of the same GMO seeds, and liberally sprinkled with anything addictive but legally unchallenged. Most modern medicine is perpetrated with the same mind-set, and here is the best part of it: those addictive poisons in your food? It comes from the same hands as the extremely addictive, extremely harmful, and murderously psychotic cocktail of anti-anxiety and anti-ADDHDADHHDAD medication we are feeding the children these days. Millions of children too young to grow armpit hair are on psychotomimetic pills, prescribed drug-trips for kiddies, how nice. But this article is about something a lot less unfunny, sometimes even Acoïtheist Anarchs have good news:
The Infamously Unknown Insect Conciousness of the Human
- Parent Category: NATURAL LIVING
- Category: THE BIOME
We have Reptilian Brains, Monkey Brains and Human Brains. All in one skull. We are so evolved, apparently we don’t need our insect brains. At least they are starting to discuss the fungal brain. Even the direct connection between the guts and the psyche is becoming clear, but so far our insect self is relegated to the level of chemical processes or at most hormonal discharges. This cultured and calculated bit of public ignorance has been weaponised, and we are falling over ourselves to pull those triggers...
Whoo-Hee, Dagga's been Set Free, Another Genetics War is Legalised
- Parent Category: GREENPETS NATURAL HAPPINESS
- Category: NATURALLY RAW!
Dopeheads the world over are celebrating their victory over The Man; Cannabis is being decriminalised in more and more places, and in South Africa, the police have been told to leave ‘personal use’ growers be. The limits of this new freedom is sure to be tested in the next few growing seasons. From the GREENPETS viewpoint, the average grower has two serious considerations before starting that plantation:
- If it leaves your premises, you are dealing. If people pay to come visit you, you are dealing. If you extract any direct financial benefit from your plantation, you are likely to be treated by the law as a dealer. You do not want The Law to treat you as a dealer, trust us on this one.
- If you allow kids access to your cannabis at any time during the entire seed-plant-dope lifecycle, you are likely to have your ears nailed to your ass, and deservedly so. GREENPETS strictly discourages adventures in psychotropics before the age of twenty-one, we would raise the legal drinking age if only we could. For this discussion, we assume an age of 18 as the cut-off, but would really prefer 21.
On the other hand, you may join most armies at sixteen… my grandma got married at thirteen, I believe. But seriously, ganja growers have a serious problem on their hands now...
WELCOME TO GREENPETS NATURAL LIVING RESOURCE PAGES
- Parent Category: GREENPETS NATURAL HAPPINESS
- Category: NATURAL REARING
Welcome to Greenpets. We are all about fresh, raw food, a healthy food chain, and fresh air. We are against over-processed over-transported overpriced plastic food, systemic poisons sold as everything from insecticide to baby formula, and the constant raping of the land by faceless corporations. To this end, we have simplified our healthcare regime into simple concepts:
Natural Rearing: eat what you were built to digest, live where you have what you need
Naturally Raw!: eat what you need, when you need it, as fresh and unadulterated as possible
Natural Living: pursue your dreams, be free, and ask nobody to suffer need for your pleasure or profit
Of course, we prescribe this for man, beast, plant, habitats, ecosystems, memes and deities. Even crystals have some form of life, we are very fortunate as a species to be clever enough to have figured that out.
Natural Living in a Poisoned Environment
- Category: GREENPETS NATURAL HAPPINESS
Imagine yourself as a clear glass of water. Now imagine a small red crystal dropping into that glass of water; see it sink, leaving behind a wispy dissolving trail. Maybe it is something denser that sinks quickly, lying there, slowly spreading a blob of colour along the bottom of the glass. What if it is something really reactive, that bursts out in bubbles, or it spins and careens along the top of the water as it reacts and mixes from above. Imagine you are a clear, clean glass of water, and you have just taken a pill: what is going on inside that sack of skin you call a body, that consists of almost nothing but water? Where is your little chemical bomb going to land, exactly? Should you not at least try find out first? Oh, but you can’t, even if you had the training, digging for ‘trade secrets’ is illegal. If you had right to this knowledge, it would have been given to you as part of your equitable education. Health issues are better left to professionals, take this pill and call me in the morning.
NATURAL REARING FOR MAN AND BEAST THE NATURALLY RAW! WAY
- Parent Category: GREENPETS NATURAL HAPPINESS
- Category: NATURAL REARING
GREENPETS was built around the concept of Natural Rearing. A crisis in 1998 upset us enough to start researching cancer in dogs. Of all the thousands of documents we have studied, two people stand out for us:
Doctor Nicholas Culpepper: physician-astronomer in the 1600’s. Apparently it is now only good for studying historical literature and a giggle.
Juliette de Baiiracly-Levy: 20th century gypsy frontierswoman. She travelled the world teaching and learning herb lore, and she kept good records, written in an easy style.
FIRST, DO NO HARM
That’s it. Not, “number one; do no harm”. It is not “1a, 1.0.0) Do no harm”. FIRST, do not harm. Good living starts with not poisoning anything.
YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT
Are you junk? We certainly think not, life is precious wherever it is found. Besides, junk food breaks rule one already; it contains a cocktail of poisons just to make it look fresh.
LET YOUR FOOD BE YOUR MEDICINE, LET YOUR MEDICINE BE YOU FOOD
sums it all up neatly, don’t you agree.
We immediately started feeding our pack of dogs a raw diet, supplemented with the occasional vegetable-and-oil porridge. Within a month, we not only did the same for our cats, we started following our own advice.
Climate Change: the Untaxable Truth
- Category: GREENPETS NATURAL HAPPINESS
The weather has been a constant source of concern and surprise for as long as humans have gathered to shoot the breeze. It is the one subject that will attract comment and furrow-browed expert opinion from just about any person on this planet. The weather –or seeming lack of enough of a particular type of weather- is the universal conversation starter in all cultures in all circumstances. Weather is the basic unit of small talk.
Climate change is not a myth. Anyone old enough to say things like “I remember when that used to cost only…” is old enough to complain about how the weather is not what it used to be. The weather has been changing forever, and there are at least a million reasons why it should and will. Climate Science as presented to the public, however, is so much hogwash, unsupported theories by charlatans who call themselves scientists, paid-for excuses to blame Joe Public for deliberate and globally-scaled atmospheric manipulation projects wreaking havoc with our health and welfare.
YOUR ANIMALS DESERVE BETTER THAN LOVE AND INDUSTRIAL WASTE PRODUCTS PACKAGED AS FOOD
At GREENPETS we have many success stories to tell about our experiences around animal health and well-being. For that we particularly thank Doctor Culpeper and the Gypsy Herbalist Juliette de Baiiracly-Levy. Both irreverent, witty and utterly dedicated to the first two principles of medicine:
FIRST, DO NO HARM
and
LET YOUR FOOD BE YOUR MEDICINE AND LET YOUR MEDICINE BE YOUR FOOD.
Let these be the thoughts foremost in your mind when judging our presentation of the facts as we understand them. We claim no infallibility, and we will try not to be nasty to other people's thoughts...
...BUT WE HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH THE TOXINS BEING PUT INTO THE FOOD CHAIN...
- Parent Category: GREENPETS NATURAL HAPPINESS
- Category: NATURAL REARING
How Herbs Don't Work
- Parent Category: GREENPETS NATURAL HAPPINESS
- Category: NATURAL REARING
To understand how any medicine works, you have to understand how the human body works. To understand the human body, knowledge of ‘lesser’ anatomy is useful. This sounds simple enough, and explains why doctors have to study for so long, yes? As a matter of fact, a properly trained witchdoctor only graduates when the one who trained him dies. Some other types of doctors study three or four years, with another year or three of actual practical standing around in hospitals. Some doctors create their own universities and bestow upon themselves magnificent degrees in Nutritional Science, Climate Change Research, even what we shall call Industrial Homeopathy. The result is a huge number of different ways to look at the body, as many ways to interpret the internal system, and a growing number of ways to manipulate things inside the body. Most medical research today is concentrated on the only external organelle of the human: his wallet.
So, before I can tell you herbs work, I must first understand your view of the body. In that sense, everyone else is probably wrong, might be causing harm, or, as in most cases, selling useless nostrums and placebos. The worst type placebo is the one that reaches your hand after years and millions spent on research. Not that it might be better or worse quality than comparable placebos, but because that research used up money that could have been spent on education. Or beer. Beer helps far more diseases than aspirin, or try a glass of good wine.
Greenpets Mission Statement and Disclaimer
- Parent Category: GREENPETS NATURAL HAPPINESS
- Category: NATURAL REARING
GREENPETS Natural Living Resource Pages is an organic, categorised collection of observations and experimentations regarding a rather old and boring theory on life, health and happiness:
YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT.
This seems to hold true whether you are man, dog, wheat, weed, or just a seed crystal attracting trace minerals. The entire commercial food chain has been polluted by a cocktail of vicious poisons, many of which cannot legally be proven toxic, because no-one has spent the money developing the tests. GMO's are causing numerous symptoms hinting that the body does not recognise the seeds as food. Fight as we might for honest labelling, the best we can hope for is some generic term, usually prefaced with the word 'approved', such as 'approved' artificial flavourants. It can hide much corporate iniquity, the package label laws. Here's one:
Not even the baddest dog out there deserves bloodsoaked cardboard as a regular part of their diet, labelled as "Filler".
We get a bit nasty about this sort of thing around here.
How do Herbs Work?
- Parent Category: GREENPETS NATURAL HAPPINESS
- Category: NATURALLY RAW!
Uhm, uh, here’s the thing; what herbs work for what? The field of medicine is rather, uhm, factionist. Each faction believes itself to hold the ultimate truth, and some factions even go so far as to persecute anyone with a differing opinion. Much like those religions that seem to have developed in and around the Middle East, Jerusalem particularly. Fascism is part of life, so we shall not judge. The point is, whatever I tell you about the workings of any sort of medication, might be totally wrong, it will greatly differ from most major dogmas, and I can be prosecuted, for I am not one of the Anointed. Persecution, on the other hand, is not the badge of honour, or the ‘informal’ qualification that some people think it is. Some people are called out for their views, and because they have little or no backup, they shall always shout ‘Persecution, I am right and you fear me, now you try destroy my life’s work.’ That is bull, most of the time. It does happen, though, but not very often, the average peddler of miracle cures usually is a charlatan out to get your money. There are exceptions, not many. What's our miracle cure, then?

