Cats don't inhabit places, they are free to go where they please as they please.
Cats are territorial, the females holding the territory, and males wandering the landscape looking for a female willing to let him into her boudoir. Fighting viciously with every male you meet along the way seems to be the in-flight entertainment. The only two things more entertaining to a cat than cruisin' and bruisin' would be sleeping somewhere warm after you ate something squeeky and warm. Of course, a cat on the way for a nap has no time to quible,

Cats are mamals. Lift the tail and look for cahoonies. If it has none, it is either female or neutered. Looking for the penis is easy enough if the cat allows you to flip it over. Unless it is your very own cat, good luck with that! See you in Emergency room. Males also have nipples, just like every other mammal, so  those are of no use when determining the gender of a mammal. Uhm, yah, most mamals actually don't have swollen mammaries unless they are breastfeeding little ones, so don't go there. Very young cats can be confusing, and a tomcat's penis can hide quite well. A bit of pressure just in front of the anus will expose any sign of male genitalia in kittens.

Breeding cats. Why would you want to do that?
No, seriously, there are enough cats to go around. Unless you show some special breed, then don't breed. Rescue some poor sodden kitten somewhere close to you. People drown kittens just to save on the food, they will surely give you one. Buying a cat from a pet store only perpetuates the habit of some people to breed anything they can sell off before it starts eating solids. You end up with

Rudyard Kipling wrote a story about the cat that is free. It is a myth worthy of that great writer.
For our opinion on cats, please contact our owners. I do believe we are not allowed an actual opinion on cats other than what we think they should get for dinner, and breakfast, and snacks, and between snacks.
The occasional tooth-and-nail brawl and a leg over after the fight, now that's a cat's life. Do not ever think you own a cat. Life does not work like that, but if you really do well, and the cat thinks you are worthy, it will come when you call it. True, it only comes in the hopes of seeing food, but it comes. Many people think cats do not respond to their name, but actually they are morally quite advanced creatures. If they ignore you, it is because they are busy with higher things, and a mere mortal like you can wait until you are acknowledged. Cat language is a very personal thing, and the more we learn, the more proof we find that cats might be interplanetary visitors, stuck here after a dog they were buzzing bit their spacecraft thinking it a frisbee. Dogs were bigger in those days.
Cats are not really trainable. What you do with a cat is to raise it according to strict and steady rules. Cats do not respond well to violence, and they can rip holes in you that may leave you surprisingly bloody and long in healing. A happy, fulfilled cat, on the other hand, has amazing cognition, and knows exactly what you expect of it, and how far it can push you before you catch on. Mistake you not, a cat will manipulate you the way your mom did, only you don't expect that from a dumb animal. Every master of propaganda will tell you that controlling your subjects depend very much on them not realising they are being herded along. Cats are master manipulators, and the term "as impossible as herding cats" actually has political undertones, a rebellious quip at the cost of our divine masters, CATS. They don't mind the insults, a billion ripped curtains, two billion tattered couches, three billion ripped and bleeding hands all prove that cats don't mind violence, and you will pay for every misstep against felines.
There has been suggestions that a cat's whiskers operate like dowsing rods. This is why they can detect a mouse other side of a wall, or in a hole. I am not aware of any further research into the matter, but that is hardly surprising. Before your mind can even contemplate designing such research, you have to bend your beliefs around two obstacles: Intelligent, concious and metaphysically aware animals, and the existence of a folklorish superpower of finding things by pointing a stick in random directions. Somehow, i don't think the chappies at Cambridge will take time off their pederast party schedule to research such obvious nonsense.
Until that situation changes, please read the article on cat behaviour, it mentions six different but distinct and recognisable ways your cat ignores you.
The last issue is that of cat collars. At Greenpets, we understand that some people actualy tolerate collared pets better, because they obviously have owners. Like humans, cats are also victim to classism and disrespect by those who consider themselves priviledged-by-right. An aristocat with pretty collar gets a treat and a rub, poor streetcat gets the boot and boiling water. In neighbourhoods like that, it is best to clearly collar your cat, but beware: Thousands of cats get throttled by collars caught up in obstructions the cat was jumping over, in essence hanging the cat by the neck until dehydration and exposure kills it. If you are going to collar your cat, make sure the cat's weight is enough to break that collar loose, okay? Cat biltong tatses like cruelty. Maybe that is what jerky is made of.


Dopeheads the world over are celebrating their victory over The Man; Cannabis is being decriminalised in more and more places, and in South Africa, the police have been told to leave ‘personal use’ growers be. The limits of this new freedom is sure to be tested in the next few growing seasons. From the GREENPETS viewpoint, the average grower has two serious considerations before starting that plantation:

  1. If it leaves your premises, you are dealing. If people pay to come visit you, you are dealing. If you extract any direct financial benefit from your plantation, you are likely to be treated by the law as a dealer. You do not want The Law to treat you as a dealer, trust us on this one.
  2. If you allow kids access to your cannabis at any time during the entire seed-plant-dope lifecycle, you are likely to have your ears nailed to your ass, and deservedly so. GREENPETS strictly discourages adventures in psychotropics before the age of twenty-one, we would raise the legal drinking age if only we could. For this discussion, we assume an age of 18 as the cut-off, but would really prefer 21.

On the other hand, you may join most armies at sixteen…  my grandma got married at thirteen, I believe. Morality is not amenable to herbal treatment, but the kind of person that feeds dope to a kid, is never satisfied with just a little toke, no, they always wanna poke, and that’s when the opioids and barbiturates come out, and that’s when your dear little Suzie ends up dancing naked in a Nigerian club down Hillbrow way. Marijuana is not a gateway drug for youngsters, the people who supply marijuana to children are the gateways. By allowing you to grow your own, at least it opens up the opportunity to observe, guide and assist your child through that inevitable soggy joint that will appear sooner or later. Natural Rearing requires parents to take an interest in the “gateways” their children encounter while growing up, instead of denying the existence of common temptations. But enough legal and moral pontification. There is another serious issue to consider around this new freedom to cultivate: this places cannabis at risk of the same genetic warfare currently being waged upon our staple foods.

 Maize, soy, peanuts, sunflowers, canola, just about every major vegetable we stuff down our gullets, has been hybridised, genetically modified and otherwise commercialised into patented, sterile, poisonous and/or indigestible almost-food that no-one may grow without official sanction from the patent holder. That is if you can get the seed to sprout a second season, most vegetable seeds in your supermarket are hybridised, making their fruit edible, but sterile, without seed, or empty seeds, or malformed  enough not to grow up. It has become so bad, certain plants have disappeared from circulation until the mega corporations manage to patent the genes. A case in point is Stevia, also called Honey bush, containing high enough levels of a simple sugar to be useful. Three tiny new leaves are enough to sweeten a cup of coffee, for example. Let me tell you the story of Stevia, as lived through, first-hand:

In the ‘nineties, we became aware of this wonderful sugar substitute called Stevia. The search for some plants to grow for ourselves began, and what a search it was. Eventually, we found two plants, of which one survived for two years; it turns out they don’t enjoy the Highveld. How proud we were of that one little plant, hanging on for dear life, producing just enough green growth for the occasional demonstration of our wonder-plant to friends and whomever we could get to listen. We were trying our best to promote Stevia, not for own gain, we could not even grow enough for ourselves, no, but we knew so many diabetics and dangerously obese people, and we tried our best to get them all off the artificial sugars they were so diligently poisoning themselves with. If there was justice in this world, the people who promote aspartame, asesulfame and saccharin as “healthy alternatives to sugar” would have been publicly hanged years ago. We would also like to see the Monsanto board drink a glass of Roundup, they insist it is safe, don’t they? Then we started hearing stories:

“Stevia has been banned” and “The FDA declared Stevia a dangerous substance.” We received well-meaning advice and the occasional twerp would actually try a “I’se gonna tell” on us. There were reports of health shops and nurseries in the Undeclared Soviet of America being raided by FDA agents in black vans, confiscating livestock and leaving behind nothing but threats and fear. Down here in Africa, it seemed a bit silly, but as all plants and material seem to come from there, we took interest. It turns out the FDA does not employ agents in black vans, they do not ban things, and they do not declare things as this or that. The FDA merely polices the food and drug market, they confer upon the licensee the continued right to make specific claims about the therapeutic benefits of medicines. Using non-approved drugs are not really illegal, but only approved drugs enjoy legal protection and fiscal recognition. This conversation excludes actual contraband; substances and services ring-fenced and protected by state security forces (Poo-lice) for the benefit of international Mafia-type organisations posing as corporations and political parties. Here, we are talking only of things registered by the FDA to contain only ingredients registered with the FDA as safe in non-poisonous quantities. We could find no reason for Stevia to be banned, no available research, little as there was, pointed to addictive or poisonous substances, it seemed fine. Why then the fake confiscations and raids and harassment? Was it just rumour spread by some jokester trying to demonstrate the gullibility of conspiracy theorists?

Today, 2018, after years of watching the complete infestation of earth with Frankenfood crops, the easy conclusion is, of course, to be found on shelves in every shop: Stevia and xylitol, both simple sugars obtained from wild plants, have been commercialised, patented and absorbed by corporate control. Like maize, like soy, like almost every strain of vegetable we live off today, the genetic structure of our crops has been changed and patented, and it is illegal, should those Frankenfoods be fertile, it is illegal to re-use seed you harvested yourself; you have to sow new, bought-and-paid-for, registered and licenced seeds from the patent-holder. This is of no concern to a small farmer or industrious gardener growing their own crops through generations, but then the evil overlords of genetic engineering, that wonderful company that promises to feed the world one day, they declared their intention to rid the world of inferior strains. When a multinational conglomerate like Monsanto decides on a policy, all governments taking part in their corruption of the food chain, are sure to adapt any an all local laws standing in the way of “progress and food security”. This gives rise to the very real fear of the institutionalised suppression of non-patented plants, but considering how dope has been illegal for sixty-eighty years, yet still survived, seemingly makes little of this fear. This, however, is 2018, and ‘technology has advanced’. Biological warfare is not really smallpox on the battlefield, it is not some virus that can only be cured after a handsome hermit finds love. Biological warfare is much simpler: Systemic poisoning of the food chain.

When the ‘Flu vaccine was first ‘invented’, no test on earth could prove it worked. The FDA wants to see at least some statistical promise of efficacy. There is a lot less compunction about animal preparations, so, with a warehouse full of rubbish vaccine, no FDA approval and Presto! Bird Flu is born! Not only were all stocks “sold out”, (see ADGASM), the governments of the world were constitutionally obliged to stand in queue, our tax money in hand, to buy this terribly rare and expensive elixir against airborne calamity.

 To date, not one single ‘flu vaccine has been tested and proven effective, or even safe, not one, yet do-good biddies and nerds up The Man’s behind are trying their damnest to legislate enforced vaccinations. If you look at the profits on this rubbish, you’ll see where the money comes from to bribe entire governments. “Ah!” you say, “the FDA does not punt vaccines, they only register them. Vaccination is overseen by proper authorities: the CDC, Centre for Disease Control?” Ye-ahs…ish. The CDC, it turns out in 2017, is a private corporation, with private shareholders, and at least 57 patents granted for various vaccines. My, my, but what has this got to do with marijuana, our newfound freedom to cultivate, and maybe even “not inhale”?

It has been a few years now since it was announced that someone in Zionistan managed to develop a THC-free strain of cannabis. This is supposed to solve the problem of therapeutics versus getting high. Arguing with that may expose one as an irresponsible adult, so nothing more there, but this is dangerous. Until further proof, it will be presumed this strain will be a hybrid, therefor sterile. Even worse if it is not sterile; at least sterile children-plants would limit the spread of this strain to some geographic limits. Should they be fertile, however, this spells doom for getting high in the medium to long term. Expect such a ‘safe strain’ to rapidly spread amongst gardeners with passing interest in dope, a funny thing to cackle at, but oh good heavens no, it’s that safe strain they sell at the nursery… no drugs in this dear old grandmother’s garden!

To what extend will these commercialised, patented and corrupted plants sterilise or hybridise the ‘wild’ crop of other growers? How long will the fun last? How long before we all owe some corporation money for growing useless dope, because their genes are in everyone’s crop, the way they seem to have managed with Canola and Peanuts.(see BROWN BAGGING) This, in a Natural Living philosophy, is the real question about the decriminalisation of cannabis: It allows the rampant distribution of genetic material to “eliminate wild strains” and take control of the few protected sources, registered and shareholder-ed into respectability, then expect a severe clampdown again on illegal growing, in other words, growing without paying Monsanto (or whatever name the Devil will give that child of his next). The current and apparent victory of common sense over avarice will not last long. Cannabis is doing brisk business on the stock exchange; the dope futures are selling like hot (spiked chocolate brownie) cakes. The Market does not thrive on competition, it exists for the purpose of monopolisation. There is no hope in L they will allow people to just go around growing their own. Monsanto and Bill Gates are said to be very excited about their investments in cannabis ‘technology’. When these people use the word ‘technology’, you must expect a continuance of their current business model, the one where nothing works exactly as advertised, you constantly need additional fixes for the previous unintended bugs and side-effects, and it allows sinister actors full access to your core. When that product goes in your mouth, the core at stake is rather unrebootable, there is no Ctrl/Alt/Del for the soul. Cannabis technology sounds like a very bad trip, indeed it does, just ask all the diabetic kids high on Roundup and MetaSystox

This sounds a bit apocalyptic and even needlessly sceptical, but Big Business has no record of promoting or even allowing things they cannot monopolise, and the easiest way to monopolise a weed that grows near everywhere, would be like they do with our staple crops: You poison the genetics, patent specific genes, infect the remaining viable population with those genes, and thus claim ownership of an entire branch on the mighty Tree of Life, an entire species as the property of some corporate entity (Really, search BROWN BAGGING). Certain human genetic sequences have already been patented, this is not some kind of apocalyptic science fantasy, it is business!

Just like Humankind can only be saved as a species by not eating processed poisons sold as food, so the future of cannabis will lie in small communities, hidden from censure, keeping the culture alive. They say the King of Saud is trying to modernise his society by allowing the import of pop music and movies. It is by ‘cultural infusion’ that you attain cultural confusion. Cultural and confusion is like faith and doubt: once you have the one, you lose the other. With the Holy Herb of Saints Maria and John, the same holds; either you keep to yourself and grow what you need, no more, and protect that, or go hunting for those strange and exotic imported wonder-strains. Never the twain will continuously co-exist. Well, for a short while, in the beginning, while the commercial noose tightens, and then one day we’ll wake up, another species hybridised and genetically modified into a cocktail of indigestible and carcinogenic rubbish with “greatly enhanced shelf life”.

Beware the bearer of unexpected gifts…and there is nary a stranger gift than our governments suddenly decriminalising something they are also still demonising. It would be best to avoid those wonderful new imported strains of cannabis your friends will raving about. A few years ago, a friend in Pretoria tells me about this mighty new dope the kids are selling; mutated or something. One toke, they say, and you go psychotic. We reserved judgement and carried on with life. Later we found out some chappies from Lenasia were selling cabbage laced with rat poison, and everybody raved over this new powerful strain of dope. Some died, many survived with scarred insides. All this because someone told them it is a new, imported super-dope. The myth of cannabis becoming stronger and stronger actually has some factual origin, and from there on, nonsense took over. The story is as follows:

Cannabis was only taken off the BP (British Pharmacopeia) list in the early ‘sixties. This gave rise to the concept of banning it as a dangerous substance, which gave rise to the need of proving guilt in court. One facet was to test confiscated samples and charge the plaintiff for the possession of actual  THC as a percentage of dry weight, somewhere around ten percent. As the supply of material became increasingly dependent upon imports, mainly from places like Morocco, the measured levels in court records showed a slight decline in the THC content of the samples. The smoking public, however, took offense at the lower quality product, and thus dealers were increasingly pressured to deliver top quality dope. Thus the average THC content  AS PER COURT RECORDS climbed from around 7% to about 12%. This represents the potency of a fresh, healthy, well-preserved sample of Cannabis Indica the world over, since the beginning of time. No sane person would bother to change that, and any promises to change that should be seen as a threat to our existing, natural, perfectly balanced and perfectly good enough wild strains. Wild strains under biological attack by the same people who gave us Roundup and Agent Orange, Bt-genes, and bird flu, vaccination programmes leading to polio and zika outbreaks, these are the people who are hell-bent on securing the whole world’s food supply. Secure food supply. Secure supply. That means, they plan to have the entire food supply business locked down, they want to own every last bit of it, they want to secure the trade in the world’s food, they want to feed the world, and none of it will be cheap. Now they are “investing in cannabis technology”.

If you want to trust them, or their weed, I cannot stop you. Just remember, when they say they intend to end world hunger, it comes from people who say there should be no more than half a billion people on earth. Now they have contrived to have zoll unbanned? Let me think about this…

 Uhm, uh, here’s the thing; what herbs work for what? The field of medicine is rather, uhm, factionist. Each faction believes itself to hold the ultimate truth, and some factions even go so far as to persecute anyone with a differing opinion. Much like those religions that seem to have developed in and around the Middle East, Jerusalem particularly. Fascism is part of life, so we shall not judge. The point is, whatever I tell you about the workings of any sort of medication, might be totally wrong, it will greatly differ from most major dogmas, and I can be prosecuted, for I am not one of the Anointed. Persecution, on the other hand, is not the badge of honour, or the ‘informal’ qualification that some people think it is. Some people are called out for their views, and because they have little or no backup, they shall always shout ‘Persecution, I am right and you fear me, now you try destroy my life’s work.’ That is bull, most of the time. It does happen, though, but not very often, the average peddler of miracle cures usually is a charlatan out to get your money. There are exceptions, not many. What's our miracle cure, then?


Beans, beans, what a wonderful fruit...

WARNING: The information supplied here is for identification of common garden weeds. No-one should try replace or augment a doctor-prescribed medical course with a few helpings of herbs. There is no such thing as a dose of herbs. No-one can prescribe you a dose of herbs. It is a lifestyle. Either you take medication for every ache and pain, or you denounce your role as experimental chemistry set, and try Natural Living, which is nothing more than to take responsibility for what you put into your mouth, nose and skin.


These are the plants we grow and use. The list is far from complete, but it contains only plants we grow, and use, and can vouch for. Some may strike you as familiar, many of them you may call weeds. Some are just useful for existing, like the sisal swordballs we plant along the fences to keep large animals off the yard. They feed the bees, supply nesting stumps for birds and you can make rope too. If that is not a useful herb, then at least call it medicine for peace of mind. I sleep better knowing no-one will get over my fence without crying out in pain.

We will keep adding to this collection of herbs. The photos are all from our own plants grown in our own garden. Some things we do not have photos of yet, like potatos. Yes, there is a good picture of a potato plant, but i did not take photos of the ones i planted, so i have to wait for harvest to upload an honest photo. For now, I drew you one just to have something there. Yes, yes, i could open a bag and photograph an onion, but that would not be a GREENPETS onion. Whatever we have in the Herbal, we can give you, even if we have to propagate for you especially. We have managed to aclimatise a number of exotics to the dry coldness of our area, an alternative to pampered potted pansies. GREENPETS, not greehouse. Greenhouses are the criminal penitentiaries of the plant world, free the weed!

Below is a long list of icons, with names and quick ideas of how to use it. The details are in the article you will find by opening the herb's particular read-more. We are also building an identification application to make it easier for you to identify plants you have. Sometimes the difference between a useful medicine and a useful poison is a few hairs under a seed pod. We will not even attempt doing fungi yet, the dangers of missing information are just too high.

For now, the pictures will help with identification, the paperwork is in  Now read on, fellow traveller on the road to pharmaceutical ignorance, soon you too will look blank when people start swopping pain tablets in the office. Now go drink some clean water, that headache will diminish soon. or have you been eating junk again?

Tonic bitter. I Ching sticks. Fodder.

Toroise, Dragon fodder. Leaves for salad.

Tortoise nursery fodder

Chew, never swallow. The picture is one right next to its poisonous lookalike, devil's for thorn. POISON.

Raw. Jam. Fried, with ham. Basil and salt on the world's best sandwich.

You plant two leaves, you watch the alien creep all over the yard, and when it starts dying back, the ground is full of starch bombs, just below the surface. The greens are good spinach. And fodder.

Oil, nuts can be fried, eat by nibbling. Birds, horses, bunnies prefer the plant, eats it right off the seed.

Some have poison roots, some are poison except the roots. Some look better in salad than others. Favourite fodder for the whole family.

Many species, many berries, many poisonous when unripe or raw or just because.

Salad. Bees. Salad.

Liver tonic. Fodder. Bird seed.

Puding. Raw with salt. Oxalic acid cleans glass.

Salad. Spinach. Fodder and birds. Tortoises. Marching chew.

Good in salad, as Pesto with olive oil, tortoise food.

Huge runners and flowers and harvest and the seeds are the prize.

Eat it. Boil until all starch comes out. Distil it.

The Greenpets Triad of Hope:




Our first concern should be to clean up our poisoned landscape to protect our children. Only by living that philosophy is anyone likely to try hard at it. For us it could be too late, but we can minimise existing damage and limit further corruption of our living organism selves.

A licensed health practitioner would sell advice and nostrums on a page like this. We can't, but here are the things we use. If you find some reason to grow your own, or learn to make something, you may find a few useful bits of information here. Not well populated yet, we do more on our knees in the mud than we talk about it sitting down.

Dani and her Nikon looking at the world.

Purpose-built and innovative helpful structures

Somewhere in the Multiverse, our President is not just a corporate figurehead, and our politics do not revolve around the  decimation of humankind, and nobody gets wet dreams about enslaving our children. Occasionally, a scrap of information, a news item, a strange tale of honest policemen and politicians not for hire, sometimes we get to hear some news about elected officials working for the people that voted for them as well as those who did not, sometimes we hear tales of humanity and goodness. This is the page where we intend to collect them...

The principles of conforming the diet to the digestive characteristics of man, animal and plant alike.

Our animals, your animals and all the things that makes life better for animals.

Everything we know about Dragons that might be useful to someone else.

Not those weird feathered flu-taxis that grow to slaughter weight in four weeks. Real chickens, free chickens that came dear.

The ultimate bug-out vehicle. Off-road, in water, and it can love you back. Also, they fart less than any SUV.

What life tortoise about snailosauruses

Keeping, Feeding and Breeding Budgies in Gauteng

Keeping, training, Feeding, Breeding cats in Gauteng

Gardening without modern poisons is a challenge, and understanding the lifecycle of your enemies takes some observation. This blog will eventually catalogue our attempts at poison-free farming for Naturally RAW! food.

the GREENPETS attempt at avoiding, voiding and overcoming the poisoned food chain.

The list of herbs at Greenpets. Identification and Propagation or at least how to keep it alive in Gauteng.

Right or wrong, good or bad, we have to eat. Everyone has to eat, and we are what we eat. Commentary and suggestions on important nutritional news.

The art of brewing, distilling and hydration of the body with the products thereof.