Imagine yourself as a clear glass of water. Now imagine a small red crystal dropping into that glass of water; see it sink, leaving behind a wispy dissolving trail. Maybe it is something denser that sinks quickly, lying there, slowly spreading a blob of colour along the bottom of the glass. What if it is something really reactive, that bursts out in bubbles, or it spins and careens along the top of the water as it reacts and mixes from above. Imagine you are a clear, clean glass of water, and you have just taken a pill: what is going on inside that sack of skin you call a body, that consists of almost nothing but water? Where is your little chemical bomb going to land, exactly? Should you not at least try find out first? Oh, but you can’t, even if you had the training, digging for ‘trade secrets’ is illegal. If you had right to this knowledge, it would have been given to you as part of your equitable education. Health issues are better left to professionals, take this pill and call me in the morning.

The strangest idea that has ever contaminated the mind of man, it is the idea of a division between body and soul. The famous duality between thinking with the mind or with the heart? Don’t know, we just go with our gut! As it turns out, not everything we eat, is absorbed, but everything is reported. Ingesting vitamins mostly does not raise vitamin levels in the blood, yet they often produce the effects as if they do. It turns out the gut is lined with neurons… that’s right, the stuff that is supposed to make us think? They are all over the gut, and the liver, and the kidneys, and every other organ! Every single sub-organism in you, contains its own neural network, independent of all other networks, but with connections to central communications points, often in the head. Your tummy’s neuro-receptors recognises the ‘vitamin’ as a brain cell receptor recognises a hormone, and voila, the rest of the system responds appropriately! Suddenly, it is not crazy to treat debilitating diseases, like Parkinson’s, polio, autism and reportedly even schizophrenia by supplementing the diet. In reality, of course, the disease originates in the corrupted diet, so ‘supplementing the diet’ is just a professional’s expensive version of “eat your vegetables”. Extracts and concentrates and ‘active ingredients’ will never replace a proper diet. Supplements and super-foods and detoxing is not a useful health strategy. Also, if foodstuffs can be shown to solve disease, then, conversely, certain things we eat are poisonous without even entering the bloodstream. The lesson here is that species-appropriate food is better than rubbish plus supplements. Natural Living tries to solve health issues, not medicate health problems.

Let us say you sprain an ankle. To carry on with your day, you pop a few pain tablets, the foot feels nothing, you carry on with life, and after a few doses, the foot is okay again. The reason you hurt your foot has not been resolved, and while you were hopping along, high on tablets, you probably stressed an already bruised body part even more. Nobody likes pain, and the pill was a quick fix for that, but how did you sprain that ankle? The foot is built to withstand great stresses, yet you managed to exceed those limits, and hurt yourself. The Natural way would use the pain as a guide to figure out what went wrong, then correct the behaviour that led to injury. Favouring  or re-posturing the foot, walking slower, maybe a crutch or some rest, anything that helps without chemical aid should be tried first. This does unfortunately mean some, even a lot of discomfort, but once the foot is healed, it is healed, and you are unlikely to repeat the mistake. Pain tablets, on the other hand, numbs the pain, the brain dulls, the foot is forced to repeat whatever action hurt it, and next time you will just take a slightly higher dose for “this foot’s giving me problems”. You solved nothing for your foot, your brain has been numbed, your kidneys, liver, guts and limbic system are all polluted, and as an added bonus, you probably already have a low-grade addiction to your favourite pain medication, or even better, you get those pills from Mary in the office that she ‘gets from her doctor’, that stuff really works! Don’t you just wish you had one now? Or maybe it is time to address your stumbling, and how it fits in with the rest of your ‘lifestyle’.

Taking up the Natural lifestyle costs a bit in time and effort. For the rest of your life, you have to peer at every food package to see a label of ingredients. You will constantly be looking for little farm stalls and itinerant vendors. You are now the crazy one at the supermarket sniffing at melons and listening to cheeses. Every shop and pharmacy out there can sell you a cartload of ‘naturalness’. It’s Natural this and Organic that, it is Free Range and Fair Trade, it is Renewable and Sustainable, Scientifically Formulated and Specifically Beneficiated, it is expensive and most of it is just as worthless as all the other worthless, contaminated crud they smear off on us. Whatever ‘Superfood’ you buy, ten gives you one it was made of ingredients cultivated under or next to ‘comprehensive pest management’ conditions. There are a very few exceptions, but as a rule of thumb for those living the ‘Western Lifestyle’, even mother’s milk is universally contaminated enough to be considered toxic.

So that is GREENPETS Natural Living for you: Hunting for clean sources of food, while trying our darnest to rid our environment of toxic contaminants. Although we have a growing library of helpful herbs in our GREENPETS HERBAL, we are not going to recommend any of them as cure for anything. ”Let your food be your medicine, let medicine be your food.” We include a KRITTERS section about various animals we keep, how we keep them, and most importantly, what we feed them. We regularly… er… we often sometimes publish new commentaries on newsworthy advances in human knowledge. We have the occasional pleasure of announcing a new technique or protocol developed by GREENPETS, which you may find useful or at least entertaining. Mostly, though, because of the nature of the attack on our food chain, a great many articles will be to alert you to dangers advertised as consumer products and services. Also, instead of populating this site with more and more links to other websites, mostly just more commentary on someone else’s original work, we tend to update existing articles to reflect the latest state of consciousness. Come back occasionally to see if things make more sense now… Sometimes we just edit articles to remove ‘big words’, we are here to inform, maybe entertain, never preach or pretend. If you cannot use one of our articles to explain any process in real life to a 5-year-old in five minutes, we either have not published that article yet, or it needs to be rewritten, better, let us know.

There is a section, if you dig deep enough, where we allow our contributors some bile and anger, provided the anger is aimed at causes and reasons, not people or their characters. For now, we stay nice and friendly, and we try to find positive solutions to our collective problem; somebody wants to eradicate us by poisoning our food chain. Oh, and the poisons of mindless infotainment and tailored propaganda aimed at the mind, the mind, that most precious thing, the mind? You won’t believe the sophistication they claim for themselves when they think they are programming the collective Mind. Global Warming is just another intellectual poison, continuing the education of the young along the lines of their complicity in overpopulating the world and undeservedly leeching off their betters, the Capitalist Exceptionalists. Somebody has to say something, anything, they are relying on our silence, because legally, silence is consent. Do you consent to the destruction of life as we know it, or will you also try adapting your lifestyle to your nature?

We also brew beer, check out the MALLUNER BIERERY section, where we spend a lot of time washing things, watching things boil or pump or soak or just sit there dripping, then washing them again, and in between we hang out and play the blues. That’s also where we find the terrible free-verse ditties along the margin of some pages.

May you be a continued source of happiness in this world, and we hope your visit to our site will be of some value to somebody.

I have a friend with 40 cattle. He also owns goats, chickens, pigs and a few hectares under cultivation. The rest of his land is filled with all sorts of fruit trees. He has no cell phone or television, but he does have three wives, fifteen healthy, happy, productive children…okay, you got me, his one son is a bit of a scoundrel, but hey, whoever you are, I know you got one in your family, too. I visited Johnathan the other day. It is a long drive, but the detour is for my own pleasure.

When there is total traceability, there is no deniability. Much evil not perpetrated in this world is purely because of our fear of being caught. Much private perversion is averted by the thought of divine retribution. We do good mainly because we are afraid to go to hell. From Santa to Jesus, from Jehovah to Big brother, the fear of being seen to do right or wrong has always outweighed any sense of civic duty we may or may not possess. Feeding a beggar in silence is your civil duty, being seen to offer bread to a beggar raises your social profile.

In this way, the internet can replace both the all-seeing God and Santa, but only if everyone signs up. Everyone. Most importantly, we need to see the government’s computers, justice, law enforcement (until disbanded and replaced by Public Safety) and of course all centres of procurement and contracts. All contracts, which we shall eventually referendumise-ateify. That means we ratify every single order on public monies via referendum. Impossible? If a television studio can hold a talent competition, and collect fourteen million verifiable, traceable and auditable votes in three minutes, just think what we can do on a Government network designed for the purpose? Forty million auditors, working for free and mahala, looking into every corner to see where their tax money is going to. All it takes is one server, read-only, open to the public on one side, and the other side, every government record every second of every day, uploaded as the official’s office-desk computer or tablet or phone registers the transaction. Immediately available for verification, comment and open authorisation by known and elected officials. If you do nothing in secret, it becomes difficult to be dishonest.

Let’s face it, there are no secrets anymore. GREENPETS have endured decades of ridicule for suggesting that Microsoft is a government tool, secretive and authoritarian, with ambitions of total control and delusions of adequacy. Bill Gates and Intel captured the entire computer industry right in the open, by pretending to fight patent lawsuits in the late eighties and early nineties. Only those who subscribe to the depopulation of earth are allowed to manufacture hardware, and all software has to be ‘compatible’ with that corrupted hardware. There is no secret on any Microsoft or Intel computer that cannot be extracted by someone with the needed knowledge. Frankly, any information from any computer anywhere can be had by paying a teenager sitting in his mother’s basement to exploit the avenues built into the system of every computer sold today. These are not design faults or ‘bugs’, they are deliberately designed to allow access to your device by those with the right tools, and the only computer security issue being attended to, is how to stop aforementioned teenager from using the same techniques. The answer seems to be draconian laws and psychotic policing, the hallmark of those who insist on us having no secrets. Fixing the hardware and software would, of course, be impossible, likely to cause as much life-threatening chaos as the Millennium Bug, and we know how many people died that time, oh, the humanity!

Let them have our data, they buy and sell it amongst themselves anyway. Clean up your porn habits, stop uttering and swearing, learn to relax before you click the Comment button, and be aware of legal repercussions. They know it all anyway, They always have, and as soon as They have enough robots, They will have those robots de-radicalise our butts. The only fight worth having on the issue of electronic privacy, is that one little spotty nerd in Mommy’s basement: If any and all information is there for the buying, can we please stop this nonsense about National Security and open all government computers, have all the information available on a read-only server, and then we all can see how honest and hardworking our Great Leaders are. Military secrets, yes, not secret funding of military secrets. The police gets to keep no secrets, they are supposed to be civilian.

Forty million auditors, combing through every single public record, looking where their tax money went, and flagging suspicious activity for all to see, officialdom to explain, and money transfers to be halted. Who can ask for a more honest and open, accountable and transparent society anywhere? The technology exist, the need exists, all that is missing, is for the porn addicts to stop arguing the spies, or at least for us to stop listening to such drivel, and demand our government uses the computer spying tools they already have to help us all.

The only person on earth who could possibly think this a bad idea, would be some Mafia type criminal that makes his living stealing unsuspecting people’s money. Only a career criminal would insist on keeping his actions secret and his income away from the eyes of Law and Society. Only a vicious criminal would insist on his right to make money at the cost of an entire region’s health and wellness, spending money on armoured cars instead of school books. Only a murderous thief would cut funding from a municipal clinic to buy a statue of some politician to stand in front of Town Hall. Only a despicable gangster would spend more of our public money on bodyguards than on education.

So, what does your local politician say about opening up the Municipal Accounts? In 2016 the budget for Education was 340 million. The VIP Protection unit was budgeted at 1,3 billion, but They ended up spending 5,5 billion. I am not aware of any budget expansion for Education. Also, in the 2017 economic cycle, the economy apparently grew, necessitating the broadening of the tax base. This means, because the Economy grew, we have to pay more taxes. Not tax, but taxes, new taxes for new things, things that were not taxed before, because the economy grew, and the government needed more “money to serve the Economy, so we have to broaden the tax base.” Really? The economy grew, but, not only did I and everyone around me get poorer, but somehow we have to pay more taxes to support this growth?

NOT ONE SINGLE WORD OF THIS WAS EVER QUESTIONED, NOT ONCE, NOT BY ANYONE.

OPEN UP THOSE GOVERNMENT RECORDS SO I CAN SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING WITH MY FRIGGING MONEY!

The weather has been a constant source of concern and surprise for as long as humans have gathered to shoot the breeze. It is the one subject that will attract comment and furrow-browed expert opinion from just about any person on this planet. The weather –or seeming lack of enough of a particular type of weather- is the universal conversation starter in all cultures in all circumstances. Weather is the basic unit of small talk.

Climate change is not a myth. Anyone old enough to say things like “I remember when that used to cost only…” is old enough to complain about how the weather is not what it used to be. The weather has been changing forever, and there are at least a million reasons why it should and will. Climate Science as presented to the public, however, is so much hogwash, unsupported theories by charlatans who call themselves scientists, paid-for excuses to blame Joe Public for deliberate and globally-scaled atmospheric manipulation projects wreaking havoc with our health and welfare.

At Greenpets, we have been hating and anti-preaching corn syrup for ages. We knew not why, but we empirically understood one thing: whenever we try talk to diabetics and their families, they think honey is sugar. Also, and this is where we started suspecting medical fraud on grand scale, these people were deathly afraid of feeding their kids fruit, because “it’s got too much fructose, that’s bad for diabetics”. Now, forgive us for being stupid, but fructose is a simple sugar. The whole thing of diabetes is a problem of converting complex sugars into simple ones, certainly, eating fructose bypasses the problem? No, fructose is bad, the doctor said so, and we know. These are the same doctors who tell them type2 diabetes is inherited. We know, you learn eating crap from your parents. Then we saw the ingredient labels increasingly listing something called high-fructose corn syrup. High-fructose corn syrup? What that?

During his election campaign, Donald Trump promised to overturn ‘ObamaCare’ within his first ten days of tenure. Not only did his eventual action take much longer, it is, by all accounts, no different for the poor folk. America’s health care system is notoriously unhelpful, while being the most expensive in the world. True, they have some of the best machines and techniques, but only if you can afford it. It is in the nature of Globalist economics that less people can afford enough food every day. The American health care system has been replaced by health insurance services supplied by investor-driven banking corporations. The biggest investor, JP Morgan, has recently gathered some notables to explain the dangers inherent in the new gene therapy technology emerging, with single-shot cures for a almost any disease you can think of. The meeting was called to point out the negative effect that effective treatments would have on the continued growth of profits in the pharmaceutical and health care industries. Disease makes a lot of money, and curing disease would be disastrous to the economy, so I guess we are stuck with expensive quackery for a while longer…

Super Foods and Super Profits and Super Gullibility and Super-Just-Eat-Properlies…and now vitamins help Scizophrenia.

Which is your favourite Super-food? Some exotic berry from Watapaloosa, some rare grass from Groyndjingfjort? Maybe that new sweet-potato from just west of GMO Gully? At GREENPETS, we grow just regular stuff. Super foods must be for super people, and we are just ordinary home-grown organic plebs. No GMO in these veins, or beds, orchards and fields. We eat food, normal food, and we try to avoid preservatives and over-processed gunk. Super Foods? Super profits on hyped-up marketing claims. Super foods fall into the same category as cancer cures; it fails miserably to solve the manufactured problem as advertised. The nutritional crisis of the world is not going to be solved by ever-more exotic  supplements at ever-increasing prices.

There is one Super-food; a Balanced Diet. A balanced diet of fresh food. The latest wonder-supplement will treat your psychosis: taurine! Just the other day we decided it is not such a bright idea to use taurine as supplement, for those who thought it a good idea to start with. Taurine is an amino acid. Amino acids build genes, genes build RNA and DNA, which builds proteins, which builds organisms…there is a lot of taurine in the average living organism. Just saying…

The same argument holds for vitamins and minerals, I guess. The nutritional hurdle is death. Once the organism dies, taurine is just an amino acid. When the amino acid partakes in the ordered existence of a conscious being, such as any living cell, it is not a static ‘thing’ hanging somewhere in space and time. It is a very complex chemical-spatial arrangement with some motility. This image must be repeated a billion times to get an idea of one small section of a cell. The moment you take that enzyme from its living environment, it ceases to be an enzyme, it becomes a static arrangements of molecules, an arrangement of a type labelled ‘amino acids’ for recording purposes.

Some foods are indeed ‘richer’ in this vitamin or that, this trace mineral or that, but if you line up all your so-called superfoods, one for every mineral you think you need, you may find there is much more than you can eat. If you had to run after every ‘super’ food, you would never stop eating. In the end, a regular, balanced selection of fruits, vegetables and greens, in season, should do you well. A little meat is nice, but the fat is actually what you need. Meat is ‘rich’ in protein, but so are many legumes, nuts and grains. Amino acids, as discussed above, are best obtained from live organisms, putting you at the mercy of greens. A leaf can stay alive for days after being picked; the average reaction to taking a bite out of a live cow involves the Law. Just saying…

So, instead of telling me about super-foods, hyper-additives and wonder supplements, rather tell me where the nearest farm co-op or fresh vegetable market is. Oh, on the other side of my province? Actually the adjacent two provinces’ markets are closer to me. I could go to my local veggie shop, for some mass-produced, nutritionally worthless dead matter that could either be the stuff the supermarkets did not want, or the leftovers flown in from that big farm in the desert. It certainly is limp and tasteless, which is why we started growing our own. Farming is not really in our blood, it is hard work and steep learning curves, most literature is aimed at producing tons of the watery stuff described above. It is about disastrous crop infestations and crippling flock infections, organic farming is, especially if you know nothing to start with.

We are fully aware that farming in the kitchen is a nonsense idea. There are still a few people around who can actually farm, and we better get them to teach us, for they are getting old, very old. Factory farming in faraway places is not going to feed us. They will stuff us with dead proteins and rendered fats and refined sugars until we are bloated and cancer-ridden and they will not stop until we have spent our last red cent on medical help that is designed to serve a product to clients. If we are what we eat, then these days, we are genetically modified, vitamin-enriched, roundup-ready chemistry sets living off dead organic matter imported all the way from the Big Farm at great cost. Expensive, zombies, that’s what we are…or rather, zombies with ever-more expensive tastes in dead food.

An easy recipe for a passable skin cream

Collect Aloe Vera gel as described in the HERBAL. The amount of gel you collect determines the quantities that follow:

Half as much aqueous cream. Choose any brand you are comfortable with, we recommend you research some of the additives on the labels. Avoiding them is an exercise worthy of any holist, but everything comes at a price.

Water, distilled battery water is okay, also half as much as you have aloe gel.

Put all this into a liquefier that has been sterilised with a bleach solution. Let it run at top speed until everything turns into a stiff cream. Bottle in sterile container, use like any other cream.

This cream contains no preservatives, and will last one week. Microwaving the cream, then re-emulsifying it once cooled down, extends life but is still not as effective as the commercial cocktails we are trying to avoid. The cream, however, covers extremely well, and draws into the skin with minimal or no oiliness, adjustable by putting more or less cold cream into the mix.

The odour is that of green plant and whatever your commercial cream smells like, but both odours seems to dissipate quickly.

While we make no claims or promises for this cream, it sure works well to sooth irritable skin and it is gentle on rashes and soft skin, especially thóse areas. Research on turning this into a beauty product continues, for now it is just a healthy clean skin cream, provided you choose the aqueous cream well.

Treating skin wounds start by diagnosing the problem. For this reason, we may divide this article into subsections according to diagnoses, or causes, or skin symptoms of a vast variety. Instead we will divide our treatments into two types: Dry wounds and wet wounds. Dry wounds may be distinguished by the fact that they are not festering or oozing some goo. Bleeding from a fresh wound is considered as ‘dry’. Dry wounds are best kept clean and dry and well aired. Fresh dry wounds have a fairly well proven protocol:

Clean the wound immediately. No matter how bad it is bleeding, sometimes blood is the only liquid available for getting debris out the wound. All other attempts to repair damage will be negated by the festering of dirt inside a bandaged wound. The most bestest substance to wash a wound with was and is always water. Clean water, but the stuff they feed you through your house’s taps will do in an emergency. If the wound is still bleeding by this time, you need serious help. Start by applying pressure, not a tourniquet.

Finding the right point to press may take some time, but if the wound is bleeding badly, there must be a large vein open, which can be closed down by pressing it shut before it exits the wound. This should allow time for further treatment. At GREENPETS, this implies you are reaching for the Sphagnum Moss. Some of our friends and colleagues who have seen us demonstrate the efficacy of this stuff, refer to it as Magic Moss. Cover the wound liberally in the moss. This will soak up blood and keep the wound uninfected.

Here be some warning about using sphagnum moss: you are obviously in distress (wounded) and depending upon the severity of you wound, on your way to find medical assistance. When you approach a trained professional with a wound stuffed with something that looks like mud, you will be treated as an idiot. Also, the quick healing of a wound bandaged with moss necessitates very quick secondary treatment to prevent scars. In other words, as soon as the wound stops bleeding, you have to remove every last bit of moss, and get stitched up. If not, the gaping wound will heal quickly and cleanly, but with a wider scar than if it got stitched.

Sphagnum Moss is easily removed from a wound by gentle splashing with water. That’s it, it comes off very easily, and it simultaneously scrubs the wound of other small debris. Keeping the wound bandaged with moss instead of other salves, ointments and concoctions, will keep your wound breathing clean healing air, while soaking up any fluids that may ooze, which would otherwise irritate surrounding skin. Also, changing bandages becomes less yucky with those funny pussy fluids of normal treatments, except that the dried moss may fall like potting soil all over, the slightest breeze scatters it. What’s left on the wound just rinses off, remember. Good luck sweeping the carpet, though…

Then, there are the wet wounds. An example would be the patch of skin torn off your knee in the parking lot football game. Fresh wet wounds are treated like dry wounds, and if you gone done it proper, it should not become a wet wound. After cleaning the wound, which should be easier and less bloody work than a deep cut, the wound can be covered in the juice of Sourfig. This will disinfect and also dry into a thin protective payer. Keep the wound clean and breathing, with regular applications of Sourfig. Instructions for the correct application of sourfig can be found at the Sourfig Herbal Page.

Once the wound has dried nicely, and can be kept open and free, a generous layer of Aloe Vera can be applied. This will quickly dry into a thin, soft, pliable protective layer over the skin. This will keep the wound clean, protect the new scar tissue against light and stress, reducing or even preventing scarring after the wound heals. There is no reason to stop applying Aloe after the wound has healed; keep it up until you are sure there is no more improvement in the appearance of the scar. This is not cosmetic surgery, scar tissue means healing, but scar tissue is new-born baby skin, it should be treated no more harshly than you would a new-born baby’s skin. Sunburn turns a fresh, treatable scar into permanent disfigurement.

For old, green, festering wounds, things become tricky; people with such wounds very often have given up trying to find ‘anything that works’. Sometimes the cause is financial, or just a question of access. In all cases, the wound is old, which means the patient has sorta gotten used to living with the wound. This may or may not mean that they will co-operate. By this time, any offer of help will surely be met with scepticism, as ‘everyone has already tried’. You first task is to get past the hopelessness.  Both the refusal of help and the demand for immediate results to prove your competency must be taken in the context of a desperate person who has obviously ‘tried everything’.  Do not get pulled into the despair, because the next step will surely need your energy more:

Getting past the green smell of an old wound is no walk in the park. All living organisms retreat from its own kind if it stinks of death. Breathe not too deeply of the death-smell, it has effects more than just wrinkling your nose. Kind begets kind, remember. Next, you must convince the patient that the thing needs cleaning. Any skins and scabs and things on the surface has to be removed, with repeated washing with water, clean water, sterile water if you can. A good soak in salt water may be helpful, otherwise repeated sponging or brushing. If available, make a tea of one or more, preferably all the following: Lavender, thyme, sage and rosemary. These are available in most urban neighbourhoods as garden plants, and in shops as cooking herbs. GREENPETS prefer their tea herbals fresh, purely by reason of knowing exactly what we have in hand. Scrub the wound clean with this tea, convince the patient to keep washing the wound thusly, and also have the patient drink the tea twice a day as systemic support to aid healing. Cold sores and open ulcers respond well to this treatment.

After cleaning an old green wound of all putrefied matter, disinfect with sourfig. Dust with moss and bandage if needed. At all cost avoid getting a wound all sweaty and fermenting. The trick is to keep the wound open to air while keeping infection out, and bacterial infectors are microscopic.

For wounds where scarring would be cosmetically disastrous, keep your treatment to first aid, get the patient to professional help, and try rinse off the moss before you send them in. The good doctors will do the expensive things needed to prevent any prettiness escaping through the laceration. Trust me, you do not want to be saddled with the accusations that you ruined a pretty thing. They will only remember the scar, not the gratitude for saving their life or limb. If the good doctor kills them, that’s life, if you scar them, you are an evil incompetent, beware their lawyers.

You cannot deny the urge, the urge that brings even Superman to his knees. Then, you sit down, and nothing happens. Some people have real difficulty getting going, and worst of it all is, the harder it gets, the harder it becomes, until you feel like stuffed death. If it gets real bad, your breath can start smelling real shitty, but mostly constipation leads to discomfort, then nausea, then toxic overdose and progressive disaster and flatulence. Pooping is not just for any a-hole, and modern life is making it harder.

Some people spend more time on potty training their dog than they spend on their own digestive system. As other articles on this site point out, the digestive tract is a conscious entity, containing not only its own neuro-receptors, but also communicating with the brain on a dedicated communication channel, so to speak. Your health, your wellness, your mood, your very character is directly influenced by the goings-on inside that long, squiggly hole between your lips and your toilet bowl. Not pooping right can give you a shitty disposition…

Also, falling behind in the business of your behind, is sure to tax your liver, giving rise to lethargy and nausea, in other words, feeling shitty. If you keep this going for a long time, your health will definitely take a knock, and there is also a solid-looking theory that constipation, if allowed to ferment, sends a farty bubbly up your spine, to your brain, where it gives rise to shitty ideas. This may or may not be true, but why risk it, right? So take a dump every day, early as possible, before breakfast, and everything should be all right. Of cause, you are reading this because you are having issues and hoping we got some usable advice, so let’s get to it:

Are you drinking enough water? Dehydration can cause your waste to compact and harden slightly. Even more important is greens. Are you eating greens? You really should, and fruit also helps a lot to loosen the tummy. A waking-up coffee helps to get the day going, if you take my meaning. Make it a strong one, it really helps. Beyond coffee there is a variety of commercial help, none of which is beneficial in the long run. After fixing your diet, water intake and getting addicted to coffee, there is one more bit of advice to depart, the real reason for this article: Are you pooping in the right posture?

Here is the thing about sitting down and dropping the load: all modern toilets are made to standard. This may mean your toilet seat is not at the optimal height for your body to have a goodly poopy. First of all, do not hunch. Do not lean forward and squat on your own lap. Sit up straight, your back should not bend. Put something (like a brick) under your feet, so your knees are higher than your bum. I bet the Muslims have it very comfortably, I’ve seen their loos at petrol stations; like squatting over a hole in the bush. You don’t get much better than that, let me tell you! So, sit up straight, lift your knees a little, and BREATHE! This is very important, stop pushing your poop out by force; it just causes more stress to an already unhappy system. All the necessary force needed to evacuate the bowels comes from the diaphragm pushing from above. All other forms of ‘pushing’ compresses the guts in an unhealthy and counterproductive way, actually closing the passage down, rather than just loosening up and letting go.

Another thing is that the bladder also plays a part. When the bladder is very full, it constricts the faeces. When you are overstuffed in your poopchannel, your bladder cannot void. This builds into the classic bathroom emergency. Another thing you can try is to get up. No, really, you are stuck anyway, it’s not like it’s gonna all fall out suddenly, so get up, shake a leg, maybe do a squat or two. This often gets things going rather quickly, so don’t pull your pants up and be ready to sit down suddenly.  The chances of pooping before you had a pee, by the way, are little.

The order should be as follows: A slight pee to top off the worst pressure, if needed, then the bowels should be free to move, and  then you know you’re done when you have one last, good pee. Any deviation from this is bound to lead to trouble later. Try not to pinch things off in any manner or way, do not push, pull, pucker or whatever, just sit up straight, lift your knees , breathe deeply, and relax all the muscles in your body. It may also help to blow your nose, the internal pressure caused by a vigorous honk can be very helpful. If needed, get up and shake the body a bit, in a relaxation-exercise kind of way. Avoid stress, tension and forcefulness. These things, like medication and laxatives, may help in the short run, but in the end it just worsens the problem, and that’s a shitty idea, don’t you stink?

Cold sores are better prevented than cured. Never kiss anyone showing cold sores, do not con other people to kiss you while your infection is flaring up.

Cold sores are actually lesions caused by herpes viruses. Sometimes, when your immune system is under stress, a virus may overcome your defences and cause an area of soft tissue to become inflamed. Left to grow, it will eventually burst to the surface as a roundish, flat, wet, oozing wound. This sore may be an ugly reddish purple blotch just outside your mouth, or it might open inside your mouth, a swollen sensitive burning bump that keeps getting in the way of your teeth. This is usually how you discover the darn thing; biting your own inner lip to shreds.

Your first duty, as with all injuries, is to clean up the site. The outside is simple enough: you wash your entire face, because the fluids coming off that sore has a habit of infecting more places. Now seal up the wound with Sourfig, as follows:

Break a finger off the sourfig plant, lightly squeeze the torn end to produce some free juice, then lightly dab the sore with the juicy end, ONCE. Carefully nip off the open end of the leaf, because it is infected. Squeeze again for juice, dab once on the sore, covering more of the wound, nip off the leaf. Repeat this until the entire wound, and at least half a centimetre around it, is covered in a thick layer of juice. This will quickly harden into a clear, invisible skin that is not only disinfectant, but will keep all sorts of dirt off the wound, preventing scars.

Blisters inside the mouth are somewhat more difficult. First, do your best not to bite the sore continuously. Secondly, keep your mouth clean of al sugars and starch, that is what fungus eat and thrive on. The good news is that your body replaces the inner lining of your mouth extremely quickly, so scrub that thing clean, then keep your mouth clean, and the saliva should eat that blister away within a day, two at most. Of course, eating right, with proper nutrition, and lots of fresh fruit and greens to scrub the mouth is important.

Once the wound is clean and dry, you next step is to recharge your immune system. You will know your immunity has increased when the cold sore starts clearing up. The more you do to restore your health and wellness, the quicker the ugly thing will disappear. Wellness is about eating right, drinking plenty clean water, productive exercise, such as fetching on foot what you usually start the car for, or weeding the garden yourself, or just fixing the kid’s bike. Being productive is good for the human soul, and wellness includes happiness. Cold sores are as likely to appear in times of emotional stress as in times of physical weakness. Once again; wellness is about eating, drinking and working clean. What you eat, your state of electrolytic mobility (hydration) and your activities have immediate and provable effects upon your brain, hormones and psyche, while the condition of your psyche has no other manifestation than your physical body and what you accomplish with it. We are what we eat…

 

Athlete’s Foot is a terrible disfigurement and disgusting pestilence. There are many creams available, some more expensive than others, many of them actually work. The sad part, as always with industrial medicaments, is that the ‘better’ it works, the more likely something in there is not good for the body as a live ecosystem, a holistic whole. Anti-fungal medications are, by definition, deadly to fungi. The fungus family is well represented in the body, irreplaceably intertwined with the collective consciousness that forms the corpus humanus. The indiscriminate killing of fungi in the human body is never a good idea, and may lead to mental aberrations later on, like recurring feelings that life would be better if some young man kicks a ball at some target during some weekly ritual or another.

Luckily, the body comes with its own cure for athlete’s foot: a sulphurous concoction of uric acid and water. The easiest, safest, some say quickest (except for the very most ‘better’ expensive creams) way to treat athlete’s foot is as follows:

In the morning, before you do anything else, you usually have a pee, right? No? Then you are severely dehydrated, probably sniffle a lot, suffer terrible headaches, and you probably feel tired all the time while never getting to fall asleep properly. Drink some fresh water before you go to bed, keep some at your bedside, and have a good swig as you wake up. That should change many things for the better, and allow you to treat your fungal infection which probably found you an easy target, being all sickly and un-energised through lack of water. Anyway, your first task of the day is to get your fresh urine onto your infected feet. In the shower it is easy to pretend you are not being disgusting by standing inside the waterfall while treating your foot just outside the curtain of falling water. Once your bladder is empty, wait a while for your foot to dry before you pull it under the water to wash.

Another, slightly more or less disgusting method, is to pee in a container, then soak your infection while it is still fresh. Use a flat pan large enough to fit your foot/feets, pour the pee over, let it soak for a minute, go wash your foot. NEVER WASH BODILY FLUIDS WITH HOT WATER! Cold water will rinse just about anything your body can produce. Just use cold water to rinse your feet after treatment, promise, it leaves no stains, smells or sensations, but it will clear even bad infections within a week or two. After washing your foot, cover the sores with Sourfig and let dry before putting on proper clean cotton socks and dry shoes. Avoid all moisture build-up on your feet, and foot-powder is a good investment if you are going to insist sharing wet bathroom floors with strangers…

Walking barefoot is always better than tying your feet up in nylon, plastic and suchlike airtight coffins that allows no breathing for you skin. Also, your friends with bare feet are not likely to infect you with foot-eating fungi under the pretence of sportsmanship.

Good luck, hope you are not too disgusted. Promise it works, though, and here’s a little aside: the younger the person donating the urine, the better it works. The urine of pre-pubescent boys are considered most desirable, while the first morning pee of a baby boy is commonly applied to sties and eye infections. The spittle of virgin girls is another health aid in this class, but that we will keep for some other day.

 

There is no warm-blooded animal on the Greenpets farm that dislikes honey. There is no substance, no matter how distasteful, that cannot be fed to an animal, provided it has enough honey in it, on it or around it. A dollop of honey at the bottom of a drinking bowl is motivation enough for a dog to slurp trough the bitterest medicinal tea, for is the treasure under there not worth the bit of goo I have to lick out of the way? Of course it is, it is pure, raw, unadulterated non-irradiated food of the gods, and I’m gonna get me some.

I tell you now about a reviled weed, infesting the lawns of the respectable garden-proud gardener who deserves respect for his lawn in his garden. Phooie, I tell you! I am here to extoll the virtues of a flower so wonderful, so magical, so magnificent and glorious, it survives despite the best efforts of the murderous chemical-strewing lawn-slavers of the garden elite. I tell you about Taraxacum Officionale. I tell you about the weed of the Lion's Teeth, I present to your mind's eye, (oh, sorry, there's a picture over there), the mighty, the great, the uncontested medicinal weed...

 

Dani took these just hours after she was given her first real camera. These have been severely underpixelated for quick and cheap loading on your browser, of course. It shows a common house fly in the ever-tightening grip of a sundew plant. Just to have some photos on the photographic page…

Here the fly gets trapped by the sticky juices

So, roundabout winter solstice, and I'm using the dry weather to lift my entire roof, to replace the rotten purlins. Winter on the Highveld does not make for comfortable picnicking on a tin roof, so phonecalls are not exactly appreciated. It's the wife, she must have urgent news. She has; there will be an eclipse today, can I please grab her camera and take some pics?  Yeah, right, that fancy toy of yours? But a  man has to try. I know how digital cameras work, technically, but I've never used a professional camera before. Better be safe, then. This is what I came up with:

We will get going on this page soon, there are more urgent needs, from an engineering point of view. For now, I need an article to publish, so I will give you an idea what to expect from MINIMILLSM.

The guy that can grind one bag of maize an hour for the cost of one meal, will soon be more important to human survival than the plant producing ten tons an hour using Frankenfood maize. We will supply you that small mill.

The guy that can weld iron in the mountain will always make a living, the engineers with salaries have contracts to fulfil. How do you weld with no electricity or fancy gas equipment? MINIMILLSM knows some tricks of import.

While the going's good though, we have technology at our fingertips, from analysing electronic circuitry to printing 3-D plastic objects to turning and forging and casting and interesting designs for off-grid machinery.

Most importantly, for someone who also thinks the world can be improved by a bit of cleverness, we help designers and inventors to realise their dreams by building mock-ups and prototypes. Sometimes it turns out the idea stinks to high heaven, but the cost of trying it was negligible compared to the temptation of trying to go into production straight away. Bad results can sometimes be more educational and informative than insipid successes.

We also know some of the big fish, in case you need the services of a manufacturer. You wanna play with sharks, we know some whales too.

Keep an eye on this space, especially if you are a home brewer or you keep small animals. Our first product lines will carry us on to the next level forever.

To understand how any medicine works, you have to understand how the human body works. To understand the human body, knowledge of ‘lesser’ anatomy is useful. This sounds simple enough, and explains why doctors have to study for so long, yes? As a matter of fact, a properly trained witchdoctor only graduates when the one who trained him dies. Some other types of doctors study three or four years, with another year or three of actual practical standing around in hospitals. Some doctors create their own universities and bestow upon themselves magnificent degrees in Nutritional Science, Climate Change Research, even what we shall call Industrial Homeopathy. The result is a huge number of different ways to look at the body, as many ways to interpret the internal system, and a growing number of ways to manipulate things inside the body. Most medical research today is concentrated on the only external organelle of the human: his wallet.

 So, before I can tell you herbs work, I must first understand your view of the body. In that sense, everyone else is probably wrong, might be causing harm, or, as in most cases, selling useless nostrums and placebos. The worst type placebo is the one that reaches your hand after years and millions spent on research. Not that it might be better or worse quality than comparable placebos, but because that research used up money that could have been spent on education. Or beer. Beer helps far more diseases than aspirin, or try a glass of good wine.

Ah, mister Snopes dot com.  Obviously a team effort, no man has time to think up that much counterpropaganda. I wonder what came first; a credulous boy called Snopes, who then sold his skill off, or was he created by the people using him. What do we call the people who run Snopes? Establishment? That sounds so clichéd and unsophisticated. These are, after all, serious people who employ serious science to defend the consensus and ridicule the aberrant. By that I mean Snopes deals in Truth, Montessori Truth, and that has to be defended against all attempts at suggesting any alternative truth. At GREENPETS, we really dislike the kind of truth that is voted into existence, and because our ego knows few bounds, we feel free to insult two of our direct competitors in the fields of 'Natural Medicine', whatever that is, and 'News', otherwise known as public bulldusting...

Welcome to Greenpets. We are all about fresh, raw food, a healthy food chain, and fresh air. We are against over-processed over-transported overpriced plastic food, systemic poisons sold as everything from insecticide to baby formula, and the constant raping of the land by faceless corporations. To this end, we have simplified our healthcare regime into simple concepts: 

Natural Rearing: eat what you were built to digest, live where you have what you need  

Naturally Raw!: eat what you need, when you need it, as fresh and unadulterated as possible 

Natural Living: pursue your dreams, be free, and ask nobody to suffer need for your pleasure or profit 

Of course, we prescribe this for man, beast, plant, habitats, ecosystems, memes and deities. Even crystals have some form of life, we are very fortunate as a species to be clever enough to have figured that out.  

Follow some of the more interesting-looking links spread around each page, but to stay on topic, take note of the category you are in, or choose that category from one the Articles in this Category menus. That will open a page containing all articles related to the one you are then reading . A category for health will be where you find articles showing how we have used herbs, or treat some injury, or support a patient during disease. While we do not suggest you start baking salads with the herbs we will show you, we promise to tell you how we used it, and the result. Of course I am more excited about bragging successes! See if you can find the one where we sew up a chicken during a thunderstorm using cotton sewing thread. Afterwards we called her Florrie, after Florence Nightingale. Getting your dog to keep his teeth until death is mainly about not poisoning him anymore, rather than some complex expensive process that needs be executed by professionals. Learn how we keep our dogs’ teeth so clean, vets think we lie about their ages. 

We  have much to say about our animals, how we treat them and how they respond. Health and wellness and diet are all the same thing, so expect a lot of links to the herbal pages. To be fair, there cannot only be good news. We can tell you that too much sugar is bad for you, but then we are obliged to tell you about the documented evidence that artificial sugar is much, much more dangerous. We also have to tell you that raw fruit and honey is real food with digestible sugars. We all want to fight World Hunger, but GMO’s have proven a corporate attack on every nation’s food security the world over. They are also killing the bees. We have to warn you about the products sold as herbal cures, while we try to convince you that herbs are valuable health aids. Not everything can be about sunshine, but we will always take the lamp of inquisitive inquiry with us into the dark bits, just stay close and don’t wander off into conspiracies and PR hype. 

Mostly, we started this site to share our hard-earned lessons with everyone who care about not poisoning themselves and everything around them. Somewhere, some time, somehow, we will possibly, one day, try sell you some stuff. You are under no obligation, but do surf the shelves, and our advertisers’, you may find one or two interesting items to make life more agreeable. In general, the entire Greenpets group of associates and subsidiaries are here, from alehoof to ale, from horseradish to horses, from chickweed to chickens and eating the weeds, it’s all here, now go look for your favourite strand of our little web. Like good chocolate, you will know it when it comes.

 GREENPETS was built around the concept of Natural Rearing.  A crisis in 1998 upset us enough to start researching cancer in dogs. Of all the thousands of documents we have studied, two people stand out for us:

Doctor Nicholas Culpepper: physician-astronomer in the 1600’s. Apparently it is now only good for studying historical literature and a giggle. 

Juliette de Baiiracly-Levy: 20th century gypsy frontierswoman. She travelled the world teaching and learning herb lore, and she kept good records, written in an easy style.  

FIRST, DO NO HARM

That’s it. Not, “number one; do no harm”. It is not “1a, 1.0.0) Do no harm”. FIRST, do not harm. Good living starts with not poisoning anything. 

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT

Are you junk? We certainly think not, life is precious wherever it is found. Besides, junk food breaks rule one already; it contains a cocktail of poisons just to make it look fresh. 

LET YOUR FOOD BE YOUR MEDICINE, LET YOUR MEDICINE BE YOU FOOD

sums it all up neatly, don’t you agree. 

We immediately started feeding our pack of dogs a raw diet, supplemented with the occasional vegetable-and-oil porridge. Within a month, we not only did the same for our cats, we started following our own advice.

At GREENPETS we have many success stories to tell about our experiences around animal health and well-being. For that we particularly thank Doctor Culpeper and the Gypsy Herbalist Juliette de Baiiracly-Levy. Both irreverent, witty and utterly dedicated to the first two principles of medicine:

FIRST, DO NO HARM

and

LET YOUR FOOD BE YOUR MEDICINE AND LET YOUR MEDICINE BE YOUR FOOD.

Let these be the thoughts foremost in your mind when judging our presentation of the facts as we understand them. We claim no infallibility, and we will try not to be nasty to other people's thoughts...

...BUT WE HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH THE TOXINS BEING PUT INTO THE FOOD CHAIN...


GREENPETS Natural Living Resource Pages is an organic, categorised collection of observations and experimentations regarding a rather old and boring theory on life, health and happiness:

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT.

This seems to hold true whether you are man, dog, wheat, weed, or just a seed crystal attracting trace minerals. The entire commercial food chain has been polluted by a cocktail of vicious poisons, many of which cannot legally be proven toxic, because no-one has spent the money developing the tests. GMO's are causing numerous symptoms hinting that the body does not recognise the seeds as food. Fight as we might for honest labelling, the best we can hope for is some generic term, usually prefaced with the word 'approved', such as 'approved' artificial flavourants. It can hide much corporate iniquity, the package label laws. Here's one:

Not even the baddest dog out there deserves bloodsoaked cardboard as a regular part of their diet, labelled as "Filler".
We get a bit nasty about this sort of thing around here.

“The object in creating optimal health and nutirition is to study each animal’s habitat and food sources, then custom make diets that most closely resemble their own natural original diet”Jeff Brisco, Senior Animal Nutritionist, Los Angeles Zoo

  

A tasty, nutritious, all natural raw meat based diet for dogs, using quality ingredients, blended with natural “functional” foods. a generous portion of meat and a balance of carbohydrate and vegetable matter, fortified with the addition of herbs, that will provide your dog with the complete array of nutritional building blocks, vitamins, minerals and trace elements required for health and a full, happy and active life.

  All Naturally Raw! meals come in convenient Meal-size packets, ranging from 50 grams to 1 kg 

If this is the first time you are considering feeding a raw meat based diet to your companion animal, 

please be sure to read the Introduction to a naturally Raw! diet and the handling-, storage- and feeding instructions to get full knowledge of what is involved in feeding a raw meat diet. 

 

Greenpets Naturally Raw! is made fresh 2 times a week and sold directly to you to guarantee a food that is always fresh and never sits on a shelf. 

 

Naturally Raw! is delivered directly to your door, or can be collected at our company premises.

 

Disclaimer for the litigous World we are living in

  

Greenpets

 

for LIFE and LONGEVITY

 

The Greenpets Triad of Hope:

NATURAL REARING

NATURAL LIVING

NATURALLY RAW!

Our first concern should be to clean up our poisoned landscape to protect our children. Only by living that philosophy is anyone likely to try hard at it. For us it could be too late, but we can minimise existing damage and limit further corruption of our living organism selves.

A licensed health practitioner would sell advice and nostrums on a page like this. We can't, but here are the things we use. If you find some reason to grow your own, or learn to make something, you may find a few useful bits of information here. Not well populated yet, we do more on our knees in the mud than we talk about it sitting down.

Dani and her Nikon looking at the world.

Purpose-built and innovative helpful structures

The principles of conforming the diet to the digestive characteristics of man, animal and plant alike.

Our animals, your animals and all the things that makes life better for animals.

Everything we know about Dragons that might be useful to someone else.

Not those weird feathered flu-taxis that grow to slaughter weight in four weeks. Real chickens, free chickens that came dear.

The ultimate bug-out vehicle. Off-road, in water, and it can love you back. Also, they fart less than any SUV.

What life tortoise about snailosauruses

Keeping, Feeding and Breeding Budgies in Gauteng

Keeping, training, Feeding, Breeding cats in Gauteng

Gardening without modern poisons is a challenge, and understanding the lifecycle of your enemies takes some observation. This blog will eventually catalogue our attempts at poison-free farming for Naturally RAW! food.

the GREENPETS attempt at avoiding, voiding and overcoming the poisoned food chain.

The list of herbs at Greenpets. Identification and Propagation or at least how to keep it alive in Gauteng.

Right or wrong, good or bad, we have to eat. Everyone has to eat, and we are what we eat. Commentary and suggestions on important nutritional news.

The art of brewing, distilling and hydration of the body with the products thereof.