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Fertilisers: So, way back, 1890 or 1920 or sumpfink, this bro’ (say braa) takes a couple of plants, he dries them to a crisp, then he burns them to ashes. After investigating the ashes, this genius announces to the world the secret of plant growth: Potassium, Phosphorus and Nitrogen, or KPN, as it’s known at your local nursery or farm supply. Now we spend billions a year putting sand dug up from a certain part of America (phosphorus-rich) we add some ammonia for nitrogen, and potassium you dig up in many places. This you fly, float and truck to your tractor, that will spread it over your poor, half-dead, organically static crop field.

The Joke: Potassium, available as a mineral, is also available in every single living cell, even after death. Compost and  rotting organic material would be perfect. Phosphorus is available also from urine, so is nitrogen, which makes 72% of the air you breathe. Water, sunshine, some sand for the microbes to live in, and many, many microbes, that is what makes a plant healthy and delicious and nutritious. Artificial fertilisers, on the other hand, poison the microbes in the soil, that were supposed to feed your plants. Coupled with single-season GMO seeds, and this is the stuff genocide is made of. Ask the Malawians, they think their soil went bad, they need more fertiliser...

Greenhouse Gasses: Carbon dioxide is a product of many metabolic systems, as well as carbon burning. A chappie built a machine the other day that will save us from Global Warming by extracting the CO2 from the air. Now why could my gods not think of that? Oh, they did? It’s called a TREE? Oh. Very well, then. But from where comes the fear of CO2? Some other chappie, dreaming about celestial virgins with gossamer wings undulating in the atmosphere of Venus, got upset when they told him the temperature there is like 420 degrees. Probably Fahrenheit. Also, the chappie finds out the atmosphere is mostly CO2. Now his brilliant mind has a string to pull, he starts reasoning thusly: If we have 10% carbon dioxide, and Venus got 90%, then, at 40 degrees here, and 420 there, that means, for every 1 percent of added CO2, Earth’s atmosphere will heat up by, er, um 380 divide by eighty, that is almost five degrees! Wow! Go out and tell the world that every time a cow farts, the earth gets a bit hotter! If they don’t believe you, start with the kiddies in primary school, let them grow up with the Truth. Call it Climate Science, the Gospel is Man-made Climate Calamity, Man has Sinned, and Retribution is Coming!

The Joke: The Earth is not a Petri dish. Our planet is an active and self-regulating system with feedback loops and general fluid mechanics. Like atmosphere heating up. In a bottle, that would increase the pressure, but were are not in a bottle, our atmosphere simply expands into ‘empty’ space enough to stabilise the temperature. Temperature, pressure and volume is in a known and precise relation for all gasses and fluids. The clouds actually change shape under adverse radiation, spreading or changing altitude to regulate heat coming in. The ice caps will melt when the oceans heat up, to cool them down again, just like ice in your brandy-and-coke. Just like the ice in your glass, melting the North pole will not raise sea levels, ice never melts until your glass runs over, does it? The coolest bit? Unlike your beverage, Earth can actually reform the ice pile it up in one place, so a cooled ocean may warm up again! As for CO2 trapping the sun’s heat, why did it allow the heat in, then? The theory is full of holes, and on this rests the entire liberal agenda for “combatting man-made climate change”. They want to tax us for supplying the trees with air-food. By the way, NASA says the trees are growing really, really well the world over…

Fructose is bad for you: Don’t let me catch you eating any fruit again, or, or, I’ll , I’ll tell on you! It has become so bad, I actually know people who told me ‘their doctor’ told them not to allow their diabetic children any fruit, or limited amounts, because it contains so much fructose. This is one of the sickest bits of sciencery the world has ever seen. Actually, the fructose-thing and the Roundup-thing has so much in common, it is impossible to mention the one and not the other. As with Glyphosate, so with High-Fructose Corn Syrup, the devil is not in the name, but in the unnamed. Even if you don’t want to read further, I leave you with this: Fruit and honey good, stupid doctor afraid of fructose bad, bad doctor.

The Joke: There is a serious health calamity around the widespread use of a sugar substitute in almost every form of processed food, almost assuredly so if that stuff got made in America, this is an American thing, really. What they use is a maize extract called High Fructose Corn syrup. HFC, as they call it, contains up to 47% fructose, and this cheap source of sweetening is ubiquitous in Yankee cuisine, such as it is. Over the years, the evidence that this stuff is poisonous, just could not be hidden anymore. By now ‘everybody knows’ that fructose is bad, because look at all the sick kiddies… Fructose, fruc-tose, fruit-sugar. Every fruit contains fructose, so for centuries we were just too stupid to realise all fruit are poisonous, right? Of course not, so, dear reader, did you catch the hint of the problem in the description of HFC? That’s right, up to 47% fructose, so what is the other 53%? Huh? I could not hear you, what was that? Nobody knows? Really? You tell me, they are putting something in my babies food, and they don’t know what it is, so they blame the peaches? Really? Just like Roundup. Glyphosate is just one of almost fifty ingredients. The Investor admits there’s stuff a thousand times more toxic than glyphosate in Roundup, yet all the court cases are about glyphosate. …which the sciencers assure us can be drunk by the glass full, with no bad results. I so wish to test that on one of them….

Red meat and Heart Attacks: “There are Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics.” I don’t recall who is credited with that little wisdom. Some bloke, around 1970-ish, looks at the rising number of heart failures in middle-aged men, and starts looking for reasons. This so-called study was a study of statistical data. Clinical trials are haphazard in the area of nutrition. Actually, the field of Nutrition is dominated by sciencerers and their cauldrons full of bogmonsters. But now we talk about heart attacks. He notices, for example, the same statistical trend in another growing habit in middle-aged men during the same time frame; the rising consumption of red meat. With great authority the world is informed that eating red meat increases your risk for heart disease by so-and-so much.

The Joke: There is a snide little spit-ball in scientific circles for this kind of sciencery: “correlation does not causation imply”. In the same time frame, the importation of Japanese cars also increased by the same amount, the sale of nylon stockings… it was a time of economic peace. It was also the time when universities became dependent upon ‘private funding’. Remember, he who pays the piper, calls the tune. When the government started privatising, they started with education, because it is with education that you determine the future of the tribe. A few die-hards threw the correlation spit-ball at this fool, but he had Funding behind him, so it never stuck.

Meat is for Men, Salads is for Sissies: After talking about meat and heart attacks, this topic must surely be addressed. The increased production of protein (meat products) came at a price in terms of quality. From the way animals are bred, raised and processed, up to the way meat is presented, has seen poisonous, cancerous and inedible additives at every step. Add to this the over-processed junk foods, add a lack of fresh greens, stir with a liberal helping of addictive seasonings and sweeteners. Result? Poor health all around.

The Joke: There is none. Uncle Fred did not die because he ate too much meat, he died because he ate too little vegetables. We could have saved uncle Fred, but for us it is too late. We grew up on Aspartame, Corn syrup, MSG and Sodium Nitrate. Our vegetables are genetically modified food-like products with poisonous genetics and indigestible amino acids. And everything is soaked in Roundup. KFC now sell ‘burgers’ made of two crumbed meat-like patties sandwiching a slice of potato-ish cookie thing. Where do they find that much protein that cheap? Do you eat that? Okay.

No Added MSG: This is most often seen on containers holding over-processed gunk full of MSG. They buy an assortment of ingredients, which then gets concocted into something your children will eat because they are not taught about poisons, like primitives in the bush do. The fact is that not one of the bags, sack or boxes that went in there, was specifically named MSG, then, by the logic of sciencery, you added no MSG. Every processed ingredient contained toxic amounts of the stuff, YOU added no MSG. No added MSG. Besides, “everybody knows” vegetables also contain MSG, it’s what makes them taste nice.

The Joke: MSG is a neurotoxin, an excitotoxin and addictive. There are many, many other things wrong with it, avoid it at all costs. As for vegetables containing MSG, no, they do not! Vegetables, like all other living organisms, contain an amino acid called Glutamine. When you alkalise glutamine with sodium, you obtain mono-sodium glutamate. You could also use other metals, like potassium. Consider that South Americans have used cocaine for millennia, and no-one had a problem. Comes the sciencers, they alkalise it, and it turns into one of the biggest drug-induced disasters in human history. Coke dealers are very dangerous people, whether you find them in the gutter or the boardroom. That is why the police calls your stash “alkalised cocaine” on the charge sheet. MSG is even more dangerous, so let’s put it in baby’s food, why not?

Vaccines and Herd Immunity: It has become illegal not to get vaccinated, it has become illegal to criticise vaccines, it has become a crime to question the goodness of any vaccine. In Australia, they have a special office where you can report any medical professional that says anything bad about vaccines, even in the privacy of his own home. The theory is that, if we all get vaccinated, then the diseases we vaccinate against, will disappear, because we will be immune to it as a species. This is the so-called “herd immunity” theory.

 The Joke: Sciencers love statistics. If you are real good, you can take any data set, and make it scream your name in a fit of passion. Somehow, however, any data set that disproves any of their theories, must be falsified or ridiculed. Or just ignored and never mentioned. Like measles, and mumps, and whooping cough, and polio and and and… Statistically, the number of measles cases in any community is inversely related to the standard of living in that community. In other words, the cleaner and better fed and warmer the houses of a population, the less they suffer common infections. As a matter of fact, vaccines were only invented after most Western countries had proper sewerage and clean water, and hardly nobody ever died of mumps anymore. Or polio, or whooping cough, or measles, or… In ‘backwards’ countries, the same pattern repeats; prospering communities get the same diseases less often, less severely, and survive them better. Herd immunity by vaccination, on the other hand, has had no provable manifestations yet. Maybe America should stop freaking about vaccinating everyone, when they should be worrying about the dropping standards of living for millions of previously prosperous families, who are suddenly at the mercy of third-world infections again.

Genetically Modified Organisms and Food Security: The world is overpopulated and there’s not enough food and we all gonna die and we gonna eat each other and then the man-made climate will finish us of. The only way to have food for everyone is to grow perfect crops that never fail and always produce a profit. Let us modify a few genes here and there, add some spider to the poisonous fungus, stir with enough funding and voila! It is now so cheap to grow maize, we could turn millions of hectares of farmland over to the production of ‘biofuel’.

The Joke: Actually, that “biofuel” is just moonshine distilled from mielies, pure ethanol. The ‘bio-fuel’ is just alcohol, available from a multitude of cheaper, less important, non-food crops. Food crops we could be growing where your so-called Bio-fuel now stands, losing money anyway. Or we could ferment the leftover plant material after harvesting. Oh, yah, the most popular variety grown for fuel is actually so corrupted in its genetics, not even the manufacturers deny its toxicity. For the toxicity of GMO food-like substances, please read just about every second other article on this website. It’s just about all these people talk about! Apparently, the stuff gets you right in your cells.

There are even 'sciences' with their own mathematics and theories of existence, like the Climate Change crowd, the Nutritional scientists who work for breakfast cereal companies, or ho wabout the most powerful fake science on earth; Economics!

We cannot go back to the Gold Standard: This excuse is surely the most obnoxious nonsense as ever saw the light of day. We know sciencery has little regards for fact, yet their claims are always supported by ‘”research” and endorsed by “think tanks”. In the case of the undesirability of using gold as a currency standard, we are pointed towards the research on price fluctuations. In the days before the newly-privatised central banks became their own standard, prices on common goods fluctuated disastrously, with horrifying consequences to economics theories.

The Joke: Turns out, the entire theory rests on one (1, singular, like, one more than zero, one less than two) ONE guy drawing some graphs to show the spot prices of various consumer goods. Like tomatoes and cheese and lettuce. Let’s call it the BLT-index, shall we? Can’t recall if he listed bacon, could have been a Kosher list. As it happens, correlation and causation minded, that during the time that prices for fresh produce became less seasonally dependent, was also the time that electric refrigerators became common. As well as interstate highways for trucks, and greenhouse farming, and… But apparently, it was because we “finally let go of the myth of gold”, as one economist said.

Trickle-Down Theory: We should all work our buts off to enrich the smallest number of people possible. These multi-many-onaires will then enrich all us hardworking plebs via the trickle-down principle. The richer the rich get, the better off the poor will become, because the richer the rich get, the more they spend, and then the poor get their bit.

The Joke: Is on you, on me, on anyone without the wherewithal to start a derivative fund. The rich cannot get richer than owning everything, which they already do. The only source of income left, is the savings of the poor. As you read this, your pension is being invested in schemes designed to “extract value” from your money. Your salary buys less. Someone is discussing the introduction of new taxes right now, somewhere. What, exactly, was supposed to “trickle down”? As we used to say as kids: “I know mud, and I know chocolate, and this ain’t no chocolate”. Only, we did not say “shicolate”. Also, we never saw a cent from that Ferrari, fur coat or foreign wife our mayor bought.

This list will grow, it is bound to grow every time politicians meet to discuss matters of intellectual weight.